My dad always said that “You can’t woulda, shoulda, coulda…..”

I know, I said the same thing to my dad that you are probably thinking right now. “Huh? What are you talking about?” It actually happens that the words, “woulda, shoulda, coulda” is a phrase that is “an expression of dismissiveness or disappointment concerning a statement, question, explanation, course of action, or occurrence involving hypothetical possibilities, uncertain facts, or missed opportunities.” according to Wiktionary. We can actually sum it up into feeling regret about things that we can’t change.

Regret and sorrow can be very powerful emotions. The problem that happens is that if you are just focusing on the things that has happened in your life that you regret then you are forgetting about the things that you can change.

So I had to think about what my dad was talking about and actually I realized that what he meant was just the opposite of the meaning of woulda, shoulda, coulda. So, how did he do that? He added the word can’t. Which turns it around to a positive statement instead. Okay, so think about this statement that my youngest son said “You can remember the past, change the future and live in the present.” In other words, by remembering the past then you can change the future by learning from it as you live in the present.

So, what did I learn? I learned that while I can regret the things that either I did or was done to me, I can’t let them define who I am now and who I want to be in the future. This gives me hope that I can grow and become a better person.

Now, what can you gain from this? Give yourself a break. We all make mistakes and that is part of what it means to be human. Forgive yourself for your mistakes but take the time to learn from them and then resolve to humble yourself so that you can be a better future self as well.