A Joyful Mission

Okay, God, help me with this….why do You say that I need to forgive others?

Personally, I think that forgiveness is one of the hardest things that a person can do. Realistically, it’s not just the forgiveness of others who have done something wrong against you; but, it can also sometimes be the forgiveness of ourselves for the actions that we have done to others as well.

Okay, so let’s ask ourselves, why is it so hard to forgive others? I don’t know about you, but I have the hardest time forgetting what that person did, let alone forgiving them for it! It’s hard to let go of the pain that that person caused from their actions. We tend to hold it close to ourselves. We may even dream of what we could say or do to “get back at them” for the pain of what they did.

But….. does that actually solve anything?

I’ve found that, no, it doesn’t. It just prolongs the pain that I am suffering. So… what does forgiving them do? Not sure if this is just me personally, but I have found that it actually helps me to move on with my life and I can let go of some of the pain. I also know this, you can’t control what others do but you can control what you do! There are so many places in the bible where it teaches us how to forgive. How can we grow and be better if we are too busy hanging on to what was done to us in the past? There is a saying that I love and try my best to follow: Let Go and Let God!

Trust me, that is not the easiest thing for us humans to do! We like to be in control, but are we really in control when we can’t let go of the hurt? I completely understand that justice needs to come, especially if it was something that was done illegally. What I am talking about, instead, is the hurt that comes from keeping the pain within and not letting go of it. Are you justified in your anger? Absolutely!! I would not say any differently, but if you don’t let it go then it becomes an anchor that continues to weigh you down.

So, what did I learn from this? Forgiveness is not the same as forgetting! Forgiving someone just lets me have a sense of peace and joy in knowing that I have gotten past it. I have moved on in my life. I have let go and given it to God, instead, and I have triumphed over the pain!!

What can you gain from this? Ask yourself this….. don’t you want to find your peace and joy as well? When you know the answer to that, then you know what you can gain from it.

Are you being THE BEST YOU, that you want others to see?

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We all have a shelf-life. Yep, and that sure can be a scary thought for some of us.

I really got to thinking about this when I saw that Rush Limbaugh had passed away and it disturbed me about some of the horrible things that certain people were saying about him. Regardless of what you think of a person, how you vote or just what you feel overall, common decency and courtesy should rule not only what you say but also how you say it. My point about this, is that the words that we say matter. It doesn’t matter what another person’s race, religion, ideology is, if it is someone who is well-known or if it is just someone who is living their life, as you are living yours. So, let me repeat again….the words that we say matter!

How you treated another person in this life and what you said about them, says more about your character than it does theirs. If it is in a mean, hurtful way, then they have become the victim and you have become a bully. No one likes a bully.

As a former teacher, we had to take classes annually on confronting bullying and how it can impact a person’s life. We, as the adults, had to watch for it and protect the innocent against it. One of the things that I always said to a student who was bullying was, “Treat others, the way that you want to be treated. Would you like it if someone said the same thing to you?”. So, again, I will ask……

Are you being the best you, that you want others to see?

You, see, that point about us having a shelf life should be an eye-opener! What are you going to be able to say to God about how you treated another person? Also, will people have mostly good things to say about you when you die? Or will they not miss you at all because you didn’t treat others with the dignity that they deserved?

This is a hard conversation to have, but it is absolutely necessary. We need to think before we speak. We also need to think about how we would feel if someone said the same thing to us. We all bleed the same and unkind words are never easily forgotten, or can be forgiven, for that matter.

So, what did I learn from this? I have to own what comes out of my mouth. I think about things that I have said in the past and it bothers me because I know that I can’t change it. I can’t woulda, shoulda, coulda. (Related post) (It is and can be a very humbling experience to know that I wasn’t the sort of person that I should be.) I don’t want to regret that my words might be harmful. I only know that I can work on being a better version of myself, every day of my life.

I also learned that while truthful words, about myself, can be hard to hear, they are necessary for me to grow as an individual. Hurtful and mean words, however, are just meant to tear another person down. I have learned that there is a difference between the two. I hope that you see it, too.

What can you gain from this? Think about what you say before you say it. Then, think about how you would feel if someone said the same words to you. I’m just betting that you wouldn’t be so quick to say them, either.

Sainthood! It ain’t just for the Saints!! Do you feel that God is calling you too?

I’m not talking about the New Orlean’s Saints here!! To become a Saint, first you have to die! That’s truly unfortunate….. but, hey, I can be a disciple though, right?!? 🙂

Sometimes we get this wrong impression of what being a disciple is all about. Well, the biggest thing that the faithful do is, go to church…… and then we go home…… okay (check)… that’s off my list!

We tend to forget that devotion to our faith is not just about going to church. It is so much bigger than that! Here is a perfect example: my family and I had attended my parent’s church and where we met some wonderful people and heard a beautiful message, but what really struck me was the sign that I saw as we were leaving to go home. It said quite simply….. “Welcome to the mission field!”

That has really stuck with me and made me do a whole lot of thinking about the meaning of it. Too many times we may view church as something to check off of our list and then we feel holy because of it. We continue to go on with our lives like usual and put our faith on the back burner. There are so many other things going on in the world right now that have a tendency to crowd out God.

What if, instead, we think of it (church) as fuel for our soul, just like the fuel that we put in our vehicles?

You can’t go far without some fuel to get you where you want to go! Right?!? And then, if you’re not careful, you may just become like a rusted out vehicle, stuck in one place. Forever…… 😦

The same goes with church. Church isn’t just a building. I believe that it is a mindset. It’s how you live your life. We are all called to minister to others. I’m not talking about doing it in a preachy way but I do like to call it “Spreading a little joy!” What harm is there in showing the joy that we feel to others? You actually don’t have to be preachy to do that at all! You just become the light that allows God to shine through. We all can do this through how we treat others by showing simple kindnesses, giving a helping hand and sometimes even just being a listening ear and empathizing with another’s pain.

It’s all very simple really……. so, are you ready to start?

So, what did I gain from this? Joy, simple and beautiful joy! I have found such a wonderful happiness in doing God’s work. Take this blog, for example, which is the result of God’s hand in my life. Every time that I write a post, I ask God to guide my words. My hope is that for anyone reading this, you will also gain the same type of joy and freedom that I feel!

What can you gain from this? Everybody’s story is different. Figure out what makes you happy and ask God to guide you in your journey. Open the door… He wants to come in!!

Black and white and all the beautiful shades of gray in-between

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I don’t know if you will see this the way that I do, but I think that sometimes the human race tends to think in terms of one way or the other but not both at the same time. Think of it this way, so many times we say, up or down, in or out, happy or sad , hot or cold. Opposites tend to be one or the other and there is usually no room for both to be applicable. But, what if we started thinking differently?

So, what am I getting at?

The word “or” can be seen sometimes as divisive, just like saying “my way or the highway”. Many of you may understand what I mean with that statement. The word “or” typically doesn’t listen to another person’s point of view. It has it’s view and that is final! It’s definitive. The problem that comes with that is that it is not always the right opinion….. it just happens to be the only opinion that some people want to hear, maybe at that time. I’m certainly not saying that the word “or” is a bad word at all. It’s just that the word “or” doesn’t always allow for change.

Now, think about what I am saying this way, instead….

The word “and” on the other hand is more inclusive. It allows for a different opinion to be expressed from different people. We might not always agree with that opinion but we may come to see it as a way of gaining knowledge that we didn’t have before because we had only listened to ourselves. The word “and” values and reveres those differences and sees it as something good. Is this an easy thing to do? No, not at all! It takes a lot of maturity and, I think, also grace, that enables us to listen to another person’s point of view.

We all have a human need to be valued by others for our strength in dealing with difficult issues. The truth can be very hard to hear, especially when we think we are right. Sometimes the hardest phrase to say is, “I’m sorry.” when we are wrong. We should always start teaching our children early on how to say “I’m sorry.” as well because children are so much more open to changing their behavior than we adults are. Of course, the biggest and best way to show them how you handle difficult issues, is by practicing what you preach.

So, what did I learn from this? I am a peaceable person and I don’t like conflicts. I find that it is hard, sometimes, to stand up and express my opinions for all the world to see. However, if we don’t start listening to one another in a respectable way, then I know that it can and will lead to something harsher than we have now. So, we really need to try harder….. and I am trying to do my part as well.

What can you gain from this? As a teacher, we were always told that we have to model, model, model what we wanted our students to learn. The same can apply here. If you want someone to listen to you, then first listen to them. If you want someone to respect you, then show them respect first. Does this always work and will it be easy? No, but it is a start.

Why in the world should I be thankful?

No one ever saw this pandemic coming. We never planned for our world to just change in such a drastic fashion. When something like this happens, what do you do? We can’t control it and it is so hard to watch our loved ones suffer and to watch others die. There is so much anger also….. this pandemic did not help make that better either. Maybe it just magnified it. I don’t know. What I do know is that it is so hard to be thankful right now. So, because of that, I have had to make a conscious decision to find the things that I need to be thankful about, because that is the only thing that I can control.

Here are some of the things that I am thankful for: I’m thankful when morning comes. I can tell my family that I love them. I can sing along with the radio. I can pray. I can read my bible. I can smile and wave to a stranger on the street. I can help a neighbor. I can give a kind word to someone who is sad. I can laugh or cry with a friend. I can…… (you fill in the blank here). In other words, I can make a choice to be better, to have a better attitude. Those are the things that I can control. The world will still be going crazy and as long as there are humans on earth who choose to do bad things with their free will, then it will stay crazy. But I choose to believe that even despite all of that, God has me in his hands and He gives me the strength and courage to get through each day. He has each of you in His hands as well. All you have to do is ask for His help. So, start by finding something to be thankful for.

So, what did I learn? There are so many things that I have taken advantage of at different points in my life. For instance, the fact that the sun rises and sets every day. The family that will be there even when I am not the nicest person to be around. The birds that build nests and have babies and the trees that continuously cycle through the seasons. It humbles me and lifts me up all at the same time. I am better because of it. So, I pray that I won’t take those things and more for granted any longer.

What can you gain from it? Being a better person, never hurt anyone and it might just help a lot of people in the long run. Finding joy is about opening yourself up to all the possibilities of life that we so often take for granted. In this way, you too can learn to laugh at the days to come!

How do you become wise….is it through knowledge or from experience?

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I actually think that it is both knowledge and experience together that can help a person gain wisdom. I’ve done a lot of thinking on this subject over the years and I have found that most of my wisdom (and, trust me, I have a long way to go yet) has come from the knowledge that I gained from the experiences that I’ve had. There were some experiences that I put myself in and then some experiences that were the result of what I observed from what happened to others in the choices that they made.

The question can also be asked…. when do you know that you have become wise? If you are like me, then I think you know that answer, and the answer is, is that it is not so easy to answer! As people, we should always be evolving and growing, to become better versions of ourselves on a daily basis. Unfortunately, in today’s society, there are many people who don’t take the time to evaluate their own behavior. But remember, actions always have consequences. The consequences themselves can be positive as well as negative. It is unfortunate that we don’t always see, or recognize, those negative consequences until they are staring us in the face. So what can you do about those negative consequences? Should you ignore them or is it better to face them head-on?

My take is that consequences need to be faced head-on if the goal is to gain wisdom. It is always hard to look into the mirror and see things within yourself that you wish you had done differently. But that is the woulda, shoulda, coulda portion of our life. ( Related post: My dad always said that “You can’t woulda, shoulda, coulda…..” )Regret can be good but only if it gives you the foundation that you need to learn from the actions of what you’ve done. In other words, did you learn something from the consequence? If you haven’t, then I would say that you have a long way to go in becoming wise. The good thing is, is that as long as you try your best and humble yourself enough to really look within, then that, in turn, helps you to change. So, now, VOILA!! You have become a wiser person!

So, what did I learn? I’ve learned that I also have a long way to go when it comes to being wise. I have to stop myself from saying the woulda, shoulda, coulda words as well and I need to learn to enjoy the place that I am now-especially when my life is in flux or is scary. I also realize that as long as I am experiencing life then I also have a chance to grow wise, or wiser. I’m really starting to see it as a win-win.

Now, what can you gain from this? I would say that the answer to that, is wisdom and, of course, a better version of yourself! What have you got to lose?

My dad always said that “You can’t woulda, shoulda, coulda…..”

I know, I said the same thing to my dad that you are probably thinking right now. “Huh? What are you talking about?” It actually happens that the words, “woulda, shoulda, coulda” is a phrase that is “an expression of dismissiveness or disappointment concerning a statement, question, explanation, course of action, or occurrence involving hypothetical possibilities, uncertain facts, or missed opportunities.” according to Wiktionary. We can actually sum it up into feeling regret about things that we can’t change.

Regret and sorrow can be very powerful emotions. The problem that happens is that if you are just focusing on the things that has happened in your life that you regret then you are forgetting about the things that you can change.

So I had to think about what my dad was talking about and actually I realized that what he meant was just the opposite of the meaning of woulda, shoulda, coulda. So, how did he do that? He added the word can’t. Which turns it around to a positive statement instead. Okay, so think about this statement that my youngest son said “You can remember the past, change the future and live in the present.” In other words, by remembering the past then you can change the future by learning from it as you live in the present.

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So, what did I learn? I learned that while I can regret the things that either I did or was done to me, I can’t let them define who I am now and who I want to be in the future. This gives me hope that I can grow and become a better person.

Now, what can you gain from this? Give yourself a break. We all make mistakes and that is part of what it means to be human. Forgive yourself for your mistakes but take the time to learn from them and then resolve to humble yourself so that you can be a better future self as well.

Which is the better choice, the destination or the journey?

Okay, yes I know….. this is somewhat of a rhetorical question, don’t you think? Of course the destination is the better choice, then why else would we go, well, anywhere? I’m going to expand this thought in a minute….. but let’s think of this first.

The destination is important when you need to be somewhere at a certain time, say…. attending a meeting, having an appointment, going to work, being at a wedding, etc….. the list is as endless as you want it to be.

But….. how often do we take the time to enjoy the journey that we are on in the first place? The time that it takes to get there? The time spent talking to your significant other, your kids or your friends? Do you always go the same route or can you or will you go a more scenic route? Just food for thought. Now, I’m going to tell you why these questions came to me.

Recently, I have learned to absolutely adore Google Maps! At 50 years old, I can definitely say that I am behind the times when it comes to technology, but I sure am learning! I first started using Google Maps when my family and I had gone on a trip in the summer of 2019 to the Smokey Mountains. (Okay, no snide comments here… my smartphone continues to outrank me in the smarts department, but it sure is fun to learn!).

We were making good time to get to our cabin (we were about 1 hour away) and then BAM! there had been a huge pileup on the interstate and none of the cars in front of us were moving! So, that is when I noticed that I could use Google Maps to see if we could find a route (that at least was moving) in order to help us get where we wanted to be at a reasonable time. It ended up that we so enjoyed the journey because we were seeing a lot of gorgeous scenery that we would have missed being on the interstate. So, in this case, (and all throughout the trip) we continued to go different routes with the help of Google Maps. This made the trip so much more memorable than we could have ever begun to think was possible!

So what did I learn? We will always have inconveniences that will come up in life, so the question is how do you deal with them? I learned that it’s okay to not be able to complete something on my timetable all the time and then something more enjoyable and fun may possibly come out of it, especially, if I don’t try to always control the situation.

Now, what can you gain from this? Finding joy can be as simple as taking a ride in your car with no destination in mind, sitting outside in a rocker and drinking your coffee while you listen to the birds, reading a book, going fishing, etc…. the list is endless. Think about what your interests are and do that. Try at least to do something 2-3 times a week to start. It doesn’t have to take long or be complicated, and guess what…. it just needs to be something that gives you a little bit of joy in your day!

A Joyful Mission and a personal moment

My name is Jennifer Babin. I am 50 years old with a husband of 25 +years (he’s wonderfully supportive) and 2 beautifully grown children. Please don’t believe that my life is perfect, it’s not. It’s just the lens that I look through has changed as I’ve grown.

I have worked many jobs, but the latest one was as a Special Education Teacher for the past 15 years. I decided to resign in the middle of the school year, but I think that it was coming on for awhile. Maybe it is something about hitting middle age that had me looking at things in a different way or needing a change. Whatever…. it sure is a crazy change for me! But God knew that I needed something different, but it took me awhile to admit it.

You see, I have never written a blog before, but I wanted to engage with others in a way that hopefully can impact anyone who is looking for joy, especially in todays times of uncertainty. There are many things that I’ve learned that I wanted to share with others. You may find that some of my stories may be funny, some poignant, and all will be self-reflective. I hope that in my journey to find joy, you can find it as well. This past year has been hard on everyone, but guess what…. all of life is a journey and the mission of this blog is to help you to find your joy. So how do you find joy in the craziness that is life right now? It helps to have a sense of humor!

She is clothed with strength and dignity, she laughs at the days to come.
Proverbs 31:25 (New American Bible)

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