A Joyful Mission

Why is it SO difficult to have faith, when we are faced with SO many things to fear?

Have you ever tried to complete a connect-the-dots puzzle? On the more complicated ones, it is really hard to see the big picture when all you really see are just a whole lot of very tiny dots that you have to somehow connect to show a picture. There is a part of you that knows it will make a picture, however, it can be difficult to believe what the picture actually will look like. The question can come up that, what if I don’t like the picture after I’ve connected the dots?

I’ve begun to think that faith is like that, sometimes. I recently saw a quote from Martin Luther King, Jr about faith in which he states, “Faith is taking the first step even when you can’t see the whole staircase.” When you take something on faith, then you have to trust that there is a purpose in the path that you are taking. In Dr. King’s statement, you know that the staircase will lead you to a better, or different, place but you don’t quite know what that place will look like or even what you will see when you get there. That can lead us to the fear portion when it comes to having faith.

Fear can keep us from going up that staircase and possibly discovering something that could make a wonderful change within us. Fear keeps us from seeing the big picture and only lets us see each little dot. That is how it feels to me, as well! I had recently made a career change and it was huge. I am definitely someone who likes to see the whole picture and I really, really like to know where I am going. So, taking a leap of faith was a very scary thing for me, especially when I didn’t know where I was going to land! I’m sure that that is true for others as well. The only thing that has kept me going up those stairs, is my trust in God!

Why?

I don’t know what is up those stairs and I can’t see the whole picture……….. at least not yet. However, I have to have faith that I will know and I will see. It might not be right now, but someday, I know, that I will be able to look back and see that big picture in the future. That is what having faith is all about.

So, what did I learn from this? Having faith is and can be a constant battle. The devil wants us to fear. I know that God is THE LIGHT and aren’t we always going toward the light? The light allows us to see what’s around us. Finding joy is about having faith that things will turn out okay in the long run even when you can’t see where the stairs lead or see the whole picture.

What can you gain from this? Look back on your life and the things that you’ve done. I’ll just bet that you will begin to be able to start seeing the whole picture as well. Ask yourself this, was your journey based on your own accomplishments or was it based on your faith that helped you to accomplish something?

How do we know that the morality that we are looking at, may actually, instead, be a mirage?

Have you ever seen a mirage? The most popular mirages that we hear about is what can happen in the desert. For example, the water that isn’t actually water at all in the distance is actually, a sea of sand. It is an optical illusion that is deceiving you into seeing something that isn’t there in the first place.

Can we ever apply this concept of a mirage to people when it comes to their morals?

Think of it this way….how many people have we seen who on the outside, look beautiful, seem to be amazing and appear to have it all together? And then we find ourselves comparing our own lives to their seemingly idealistic lives? After all, they are popular, and have wealth and fame. So, we should admire them and want to be like them, right? Not so fast……..

Actually, are these people really so perfect? Some are proving themselves to be not so perfect, after all.

We have recently seen a lot of stories about these sort of people in the news. They write books, they get praised for (supposed) accomplishments, they hold offices, they run companies. You name it, we can list it here. Then, BAM! There is some negative press that comes out about things that were covered up and hidden because it didn’t meet the criteria of their status. It wasn’t to be disclosed because it would taint the image that they’ve cultivated for the world to see.

My son, Marc, coined this a “morality mirage”. (Smart kid!) Which I think is very apt!

So, what is a “morality mirage”? To me, it is simply that the morals that some people have on the inside, don’t match the morals that they “appear” to have or that they show to the world. They have morally corrupted themselves for the sake of wealth and power. Their greed has changed their soul and they should not be admired by us anymore. They are now tainted and damaged goods. Learn instead to observe a person’s actions. If their actions, don’t match their words, then it is a good bet that you are looking at someone who is showing a morality mirage.

So, what have I learned from this? These are not the sort of people that I can look up to and admire. I must, therefore, be choosy in whom I hold in high esteem. The people I admire most are the ones who “walk the walk and talk the talk”. I admire the ones who stand firm on the principles they hold while others in the world make fun of them. This is a good time to remind us of the moral of Noah. Remember what happened in that story?

What can you gain from this? Understand that what is inside also needs to be shown on the outside and vice versa. Hold those around you to a higher example, but most of all? Be that example! Humble yourself, admit your faults and ask for forgiveness for your sins, then do your best to follow His path. It’s not easy, because you will always have the temptations that want to take us down, but realize that the reward is amazing when you stay strong and true to yourself and the values that God knows we can have!

Why does greed keep us from God?

In today’s world, it is very hard not to show greed sometimes. I’m just like everyone else and I can definitely say that money can be a security blanket! It sure is nice to have and it is certainly helpful in paying bills and, of course, buying things that are just not necessary. It’s hard when we see others gain so much in life and we continue to struggle just to buy something extra.

So, sometimes we have to ask ourselves, what’s the problem with having greed?

It’s when money becomes the only thing that we focus on or the only thing that we desire, that there is greed. When we covet physical things, then this can come to replace our need for God in our lives. However, it’s not just money that can make us greedy. There can be a greed for power and the corrupting of it. When power hurts others in our quest for more (be it fame or fortune), then that is greed.

The act of being greedy can lead into a breeding ground for dissatisfaction with what we already have and makes us begin to only look at and want what others have. This is where the adage “the grass is always greener” can come in.

Trust me, I have to fight that myself. Life can be overwhelming! I’m sure that most of you have the same problem that I do….. I see that others have something that I have only been able to dream about! It can make me angry because I want it too!! But then…I soon realize that that is greed as well. So, I have to step back and assess what I have now and appreciate the value of it.

I have come to realize that, things…… are just that, things. They will never replace the value that I have in my marriage or in my children. Greed can never take the place of family and friends and a job that fulfills me. I will always have to fight this urge to see what others have and want it for myself. That’s human nature, but what I don’t have to do is to give into it to the point that it takes my soul. I don’t want it to separate me from God and then risk having to live a life without him!

So what have I learned? Although, I like things, I love my God more. He gives me love back when a thing or object can’t. When I want to become greedy, then I get down on my knees and pray for God to guide me to a better path. Because I am human, it will be a constant battle…..that I intend to win.

What can you gain from this? Greed has a tendency to rob you of the best you that you can be. Humble yourself to ask for help. If you need someone to counsel you (therapist, preacher, priest, etc.), then don’t hesitate to seek help. It certainly doesn’t make you weaker. Realize that when you see a better way, then a better you will emerge!

How is having pride different from being proud?

Why do you think that God considers pride to be a deadly sin? After all, having pride in something or being proud of someone or something on its surface is not necessarily a sin. You can have pride in your family heritage or maybe in getting a new job. You can be proud for accomplishing a difficult task well and in a timely manner or in being the first in your family to go to college. The examples are, literally, endless.

So….. what makes pride so deadly? Let’s look at the most basic of definitions, first, before we get into that.

According to Oxford Languages the definitions of pride and proud start out, mostly, the same. One definition that is the same for both is this: “feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction from one’s own achievements”. Oxford Languages also notes that the word pride can be used as a noun or a verb, while the word proud can only be used as an adjective.

Okay…. so why does God say that pride is a deadly sin?

Having pride gives the person a tendency to be arrogant and pride is known to be rooted in deep insecurity or fear. Pride is what may lead people to cause deaths through inaction, the loss of security for others or other more damaging actions to another person or people. Pride causes that person to not see the harm that they may cause, or for that matter, want to admit, either. Pride has a tendency to make a person look in the mirror and only see perfection but none of the flaws or blemishes that come with being human. Overall, having pride seeks ONLY the glory of people (or self) and NOT the glory of God.

On the other hand…..

A person who is proud (while you also have to be careful here as well) is more about having a positive feeling about or towards something. When a person feels proud, then they tend to acknowledge that they might have gained something because of the sacrifice of another person. A perfect example is a soldier who serves his/her country or a parent who chooses to stay home for their children instead of getting a paying job outside the home. There are numerous examples that can be listed here. Being proud acknowledges the path taken and/or given by others but mostly being proud seeks the glory of God FIRST by thanking Him for helping us through our trials then may give the glory to people who have helped us along the way.

Let me give you an example of the difference:

I have pride in having a blog and how it looks but I needed people who prayed to God on my behalf! God heard them and in answering those prayers, it makes me so proud to give God the glory for this blogs very conception. On my own, I would not have had a blog at all! God is the potter, I am the clay (or, think of it this way, He is the author and I am the writer). Each time that I write something, I ask that God gives me the words that He wants me to say. He is speaking to you, through me. That is some powerful stuff and humbling, too!

So, what did I learn from this? I have learned, and am still learning, to humble myself. We all have flaws!! However, if God can love me, sinner that I am, and ask something so huge, from me, then He sees so much more in me that I don’t always see in myself.

What can you gain from this? Think about the things that have happened in your life: good, bad and ugly. Acknowledge where you have taken a different path and think about God’s part in your life. Do you place God on the lower end and only ask for His help in times of need? Remember, He wants to be a part of your life. So don’t let pride keep you from opening that door. Be proud that He loves you, unconditionally!

Okay, God, help me with this….why do You say that I need to forgive others?

Personally, I think that forgiveness is one of the hardest things that a person can do. Realistically, it’s not just the forgiveness of others who have done something wrong against you; but, it can also sometimes be the forgiveness of ourselves for the actions that we have done to others as well.

Okay, so let’s ask ourselves, why is it so hard to forgive others? I don’t know about you, but I have the hardest time forgetting what that person did, let alone forgiving them for it! It’s hard to let go of the pain that that person caused from their actions. We tend to hold it close to ourselves. We may even dream of what we could say or do to “get back at them” for the pain of what they did.

But….. does that actually solve anything?

I’ve found that, no, it doesn’t. It just prolongs the pain that I am suffering. So… what does forgiving them do? Not sure if this is just me personally, but I have found that it actually helps me to move on with my life and I can let go of some of the pain. I also know this, you can’t control what others do but you can control what you do! There are so many places in the bible where it teaches us how to forgive. How can we grow and be better if we are too busy hanging on to what was done to us in the past? There is a saying that I love and try my best to follow: Let Go and Let God!

Trust me, that is not the easiest thing for us humans to do! We like to be in control, but are we really in control when we can’t let go of the hurt? I completely understand that justice needs to come, especially if it was something that was done illegally. What I am talking about, instead, is the hurt that comes from keeping the pain within and not letting go of it. Are you justified in your anger? Absolutely!! I would not say any differently, but if you don’t let it go then it becomes an anchor that continues to weigh you down.

So, what did I learn from this? Forgiveness is not the same as forgetting! Forgiving someone just lets me have a sense of peace and joy in knowing that I have gotten past it. I have moved on in my life. I have let go and given it to God, instead, and I have triumphed over the pain!!

What can you gain from this? Ask yourself this….. don’t you want to find your peace and joy as well? When you know the answer to that, then you know what you can gain from it.

Are you being THE BEST YOU, that you want others to see?

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We all have a shelf-life. Yep, and that sure can be a scary thought for some of us.

I really got to thinking about this when I saw that Rush Limbaugh had passed away and it disturbed me about some of the horrible things that certain people were saying about him. Regardless of what you think of a person, how you vote or just what you feel overall, common decency and courtesy should rule not only what you say but also how you say it. My point about this, is that the words that we say matter. It doesn’t matter what another person’s race, religion, ideology is, if it is someone who is well-known or if it is just someone who is living their life, as you are living yours. So, let me repeat again….the words that we say matter!

How you treated another person in this life and what you said about them, says more about your character than it does theirs. If it is in a mean, hurtful way, then they have become the victim and you have become a bully. No one likes a bully.

As a former teacher, we had to take classes annually on confronting bullying and how it can impact a person’s life. We, as the adults, had to watch for it and protect the innocent against it. One of the things that I always said to a student who was bullying was, “Treat others, the way that you want to be treated. Would you like it if someone said the same thing to you?”. So, again, I will ask……

Are you being the best you, that you want others to see?

You, see, that point about us having a shelf life should be an eye-opener! What are you going to be able to say to God about how you treated another person? Also, will people have mostly good things to say about you when you die? Or will they not miss you at all because you didn’t treat others with the dignity that they deserved?

This is a hard conversation to have, but it is absolutely necessary. We need to think before we speak. We also need to think about how we would feel if someone said the same thing to us. We all bleed the same and unkind words are never easily forgotten, or can be forgiven, for that matter.

So, what did I learn from this? I have to own what comes out of my mouth. I think about things that I have said in the past and it bothers me because I know that I can’t change it. I can’t woulda, shoulda, coulda. (Related post) (It is and can be a very humbling experience to know that I wasn’t the sort of person that I should be.) I don’t want to regret that my words might be harmful. I only know that I can work on being a better version of myself, every day of my life.

I also learned that while truthful words, about myself, can be hard to hear, they are necessary for me to grow as an individual. Hurtful and mean words, however, are just meant to tear another person down. I have learned that there is a difference between the two. I hope that you see it, too.

What can you gain from this? Think about what you say before you say it. Then, think about how you would feel if someone said the same words to you. I’m just betting that you wouldn’t be so quick to say them, either.

Sainthood! It ain’t just for the Saints!! Do you feel that God is calling you too?

I’m not talking about the New Orlean’s Saints here!! To become a Saint, first you have to die! That’s truly unfortunate….. but, hey, I can be a disciple though, right?!? 🙂

Sometimes we get this wrong impression of what being a disciple is all about. Well, the biggest thing that the faithful do is, go to church…… and then we go home…… okay (check)… that’s off my list!

We tend to forget that devotion to our faith is not just about going to church. It is so much bigger than that! Here is a perfect example: my family and I had attended my parent’s church and where we met some wonderful people and heard a beautiful message, but what really struck me was the sign that I saw as we were leaving to go home. It said quite simply….. “Welcome to the mission field!”

That has really stuck with me and made me do a whole lot of thinking about the meaning of it. Too many times we may view church as something to check off of our list and then we feel holy because of it. We continue to go on with our lives like usual and put our faith on the back burner. There are so many other things going on in the world right now that have a tendency to crowd out God.

What if, instead, we think of it (church) as fuel for our soul, just like the fuel that we put in our vehicles?

You can’t go far without some fuel to get you where you want to go! Right?!? And then, if you’re not careful, you may just become like a rusted out vehicle, stuck in one place. Forever…… 😦

The same goes with church. Church isn’t just a building. I believe that it is a mindset. It’s how you live your life. We are all called to minister to others. I’m not talking about doing it in a preachy way but I do like to call it “Spreading a little joy!” What harm is there in showing the joy that we feel to others? You actually don’t have to be preachy to do that at all! You just become the light that allows God to shine through. We all can do this through how we treat others by showing simple kindnesses, giving a helping hand and sometimes even just being a listening ear and empathizing with another’s pain.

It’s all very simple really……. so, are you ready to start?

So, what did I gain from this? Joy, simple and beautiful joy! I have found such a wonderful happiness in doing God’s work. Take this blog, for example, which is the result of God’s hand in my life. Every time that I write a post, I ask God to guide my words. My hope is that for anyone reading this, you will also gain the same type of joy and freedom that I feel!

What can you gain from this? Everybody’s story is different. Figure out what makes you happy and ask God to guide you in your journey. Open the door… He wants to come in!!

Black and white and all the beautiful shades of gray in-between

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I don’t know if you will see this the way that I do, but I think that sometimes the human race tends to think in terms of one way or the other but not both at the same time. Think of it this way, so many times we say, up or down, in or out, happy or sad , hot or cold. Opposites tend to be one or the other and there is usually no room for both to be applicable. But, what if we started thinking differently?

So, what am I getting at?

The word “or” can be seen sometimes as divisive, just like saying “my way or the highway”. Many of you may understand what I mean with that statement. The word “or” typically doesn’t listen to another person’s point of view. It has it’s view and that is final! It’s definitive. The problem that comes with that is that it is not always the right opinion….. it just happens to be the only opinion that some people want to hear, maybe at that time. I’m certainly not saying that the word “or” is a bad word at all. It’s just that the word “or” doesn’t always allow for change.

Now, think about what I am saying this way, instead….

The word “and” on the other hand is more inclusive. It allows for a different opinion to be expressed from different people. We might not always agree with that opinion but we may come to see it as a way of gaining knowledge that we didn’t have before because we had only listened to ourselves. The word “and” values and reveres those differences and sees it as something good. Is this an easy thing to do? No, not at all! It takes a lot of maturity and, I think, also grace, that enables us to listen to another person’s point of view.

We all have a human need to be valued by others for our strength in dealing with difficult issues. The truth can be very hard to hear, especially when we think we are right. Sometimes the hardest phrase to say is, “I’m sorry.” when we are wrong. We should always start teaching our children early on how to say “I’m sorry.” as well because children are so much more open to changing their behavior than we adults are. Of course, the biggest and best way to show them how you handle difficult issues, is by practicing what you preach.

So, what did I learn from this? I am a peaceable person and I don’t like conflicts. I find that it is hard, sometimes, to stand up and express my opinions for all the world to see. However, if we don’t start listening to one another in a respectable way, then I know that it can and will lead to something harsher than we have now. So, we really need to try harder….. and I am trying to do my part as well.

What can you gain from this? As a teacher, we were always told that we have to model, model, model what we wanted our students to learn. The same can apply here. If you want someone to listen to you, then first listen to them. If you want someone to respect you, then show them respect first. Does this always work and will it be easy? No, but it is a start.

Why in the world should I be thankful?

No one ever saw this pandemic coming. We never planned for our world to just change in such a drastic fashion. When something like this happens, what do you do? We can’t control it and it is so hard to watch our loved ones suffer and to watch others die. There is so much anger also….. this pandemic did not help make that better either. Maybe it just magnified it. I don’t know. What I do know is that it is so hard to be thankful right now. So, because of that, I have had to make a conscious decision to find the things that I need to be thankful about, because that is the only thing that I can control.

Here are some of the things that I am thankful for: I’m thankful when morning comes. I can tell my family that I love them. I can sing along with the radio. I can pray. I can read my bible. I can smile and wave to a stranger on the street. I can help a neighbor. I can give a kind word to someone who is sad. I can laugh or cry with a friend. I can…… (you fill in the blank here). In other words, I can make a choice to be better, to have a better attitude. Those are the things that I can control. The world will still be going crazy and as long as there are humans on earth who choose to do bad things with their free will, then it will stay crazy. But I choose to believe that even despite all of that, God has me in his hands and He gives me the strength and courage to get through each day. He has each of you in His hands as well. All you have to do is ask for His help. So, start by finding something to be thankful for.

So, what did I learn? There are so many things that I have taken advantage of at different points in my life. For instance, the fact that the sun rises and sets every day. The family that will be there even when I am not the nicest person to be around. The birds that build nests and have babies and the trees that continuously cycle through the seasons. It humbles me and lifts me up all at the same time. I am better because of it. So, I pray that I won’t take those things and more for granted any longer.

What can you gain from it? Being a better person, never hurt anyone and it might just help a lot of people in the long run. Finding joy is about opening yourself up to all the possibilities of life that we so often take for granted. In this way, you too can learn to laugh at the days to come!

How do you become wise….is it through knowledge or from experience?

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I actually think that it is both knowledge and experience together that can help a person gain wisdom. I’ve done a lot of thinking on this subject over the years and I have found that most of my wisdom (and, trust me, I have a long way to go yet) has come from the knowledge that I gained from the experiences that I’ve had. There were some experiences that I put myself in and then some experiences that were the result of what I observed from what happened to others in the choices that they made.

The question can also be asked…. when do you know that you have become wise? If you are like me, then I think you know that answer, and the answer is, is that it is not so easy to answer! As people, we should always be evolving and growing, to become better versions of ourselves on a daily basis. Unfortunately, in today’s society, there are many people who don’t take the time to evaluate their own behavior. But remember, actions always have consequences. The consequences themselves can be positive as well as negative. It is unfortunate that we don’t always see, or recognize, those negative consequences until they are staring us in the face. So what can you do about those negative consequences? Should you ignore them or is it better to face them head-on?

My take is that consequences need to be faced head-on if the goal is to gain wisdom. It is always hard to look into the mirror and see things within yourself that you wish you had done differently. But that is the woulda, shoulda, coulda portion of our life. ( Related post: My dad always said that “You can’t woulda, shoulda, coulda…..” )Regret can be good but only if it gives you the foundation that you need to learn from the actions of what you’ve done. In other words, did you learn something from the consequence? If you haven’t, then I would say that you have a long way to go in becoming wise. The good thing is, is that as long as you try your best and humble yourself enough to really look within, then that, in turn, helps you to change. So, now, VOILA!! You have become a wiser person!

So, what did I learn? I’ve learned that I also have a long way to go when it comes to being wise. I have to stop myself from saying the woulda, shoulda, coulda words as well and I need to learn to enjoy the place that I am now-especially when my life is in flux or is scary. I also realize that as long as I am experiencing life then I also have a chance to grow wise, or wiser. I’m really starting to see it as a win-win.

Now, what can you gain from this? I would say that the answer to that, is wisdom and, of course, a better version of yourself! What have you got to lose?

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