A Joyful Mission

“God don’t like ugly.”

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

One of our clients where I work is now being raised by his aunt and uncle. His mom and dad passed away a few years ago. This client’s aunt tells him this phrase all the time in order to get him to stop and think about how he is acting. It also helps him to understand that there are consequences for ugly behavior and it’s not just natural consequences. It’s also the consequence that can eventually come from God as well.

Although this phrase is NOT grammatically correct (sorry, it’s the teacher in me that gets a little twitchy about it), the phrase itself is PERFECTLY correct, as in its meaning. Too many people, now, need to go take a good, hard look at themselves in the mirror. Of course, they won’t. Why? When people start to look at how they are acting, then they also have to start acknowledging the ugliness that exists within them. They may also start to see how hypocritical they are being. That inner search can be very, very difficult.

Now, why do you think that is? Why do people have such a hard time seeing their own behavior in a negative light?

One theory that I have is that they were never taught how to show compassion to others when they were young. That is CERTAINLY not an excuse but just a reason. Another theory that I have is that they might have always been told that everything that they did in life was wonderful and marvelous and awesome. You should get my point.

So, the problem? If someone is never humbled enough in order to be considerate of others, then it is very difficult to “see” their own behavior as being anything but wonderful and marvelous and awesome. They never learned how to be humble. That’s a HUGE problem and one that they will pay for eventually. Even if they never get what’s coming to them in this world, trust me when I say that God is always watching. He gives us PLENTY of opportunities to “fix” our behavior while we are alive, but be very, very sure that HIS consequence is permanent when we have to go before Him and try to justify our actions. There are no second chances then. (Related post: The time for reckoning is now)

So, what did I learn from this? God gives us lots and lots of opportunities to “get it right”. I can’t blame God for the choices that I made in life. All He wants is for me to acknowledge my sinfulness and then do my very best to follow His path for me. I have to continually trust that He knows me and has a plan for me to follow. I have to humble myself in order to discover that path. And actually? It’s not so hard when the rewards have been so much fun to experience!

What can you gain from this? Remember that we only have a finite number of years to “get it right”. If that doesn’t get you motivated then I don’t know what will. Also, remember that no one can predict when their time on earth is done. So…. you need to act like every day could be your last! And now, it’s time to act accordingly!!

Handling the “Ifs” in Life

I actually looked up the meaning of the word “if” and there were several definitions but one stuck out with me. It is, “in the event that”. Words that have similar meanings to if are uncertainty and doubt.

Our life is full of “ifs”. So how can we handle all the uncertainty and doubts that we face? My go-to is God but not everyone can do that. So…. what can you do instead?

My suggestion, take each day as it comes. Learn from it and move on to the next thing. Learn to appreciate what you have and work towards what you want. Realize that you can’t control the things that others do but you can control what you do about it. Yes, life is full of “ifs” but life is also full of “and” and “but”. (Related post: Always Room for Growth)

Realize that you have to take the wheel. You can control how fast or slow you go. You hold the power in your responses and your actions. Hopefully, that will help you to realize that you can’t let your fear of the uncertainties of life control you. Yes, I get it. The world is certainly crazy. You don’t have to be. Relish the small things in life, like a drive on a pretty day, having coffee with a friend, and laughing at a good joke. The list is endless. The point is, enjoy today and cherish every moment that you have in this lifetime. That is what truly counts.

So, what did I learn from this? Joy can be contagious. I have also discovered that my joy can also depend on who and what I surround myself with. I have to be honest, always, with myself, first. I also have learned that I need to stay true to myself and my values. The “ifs” don’t get to me like they used to because I understand more now than I used to. I can see things clearer. Is it always that way? No, but I will tell you that God has a big part in making me who I am today. Dealing with the “ifs” would be a whole lot harder without Him.

What can you gain from this? The power to control your life is within you. Some people don’t want us to realize that. So, how can you change it? Learn to surround yourself with people who will treat you the right way. Stay away from bad situations and bad people. Realize that they are only out for themselves and don’t care about you or not like you want them to. There is a reason why they are called “toxic.”

If you are struggling with making a decision on something? Write down the pros and cons of it or the situation. Sometimes it’s once you see it on paper that you can better make a decision about it. I did that once about a boy that I dated when I was in college. When the column for the cons overtook the pros then I knew that it was time to cut him out of my life. (Related post: Everyone has a bad day, now and then! So, what can you do to make it better?)

It seems like it’s backward but sometimes you need to get through those really, really bad times in order to appreciate the good things that do happen in your life. Then you should begin to see that the “ifs” in life don’t matter so much anymore.

God’s Love Language

The love language that God uses with us is our obedience to what He wants from us. When we become obedient, we are trusting that God’s got us on the right path. (Related post: God’s Got This). Remember that He knew us BEFORE we were even formed in our mother’s womb. He KNEW what we could do and what we could become when we obey Him.

We need to go back to Genesis 22:1-14. This is the passage where Abraham and his wife, Sara had been given a child, Isaac. In this particular passage, Abraham is told to bring his only child and go to a mountain of God’s choosing and then to offer Isaac as a sacrifice. Could you imagine the pain that Abraham had felt!? He probably wondered why God would give him Isaac, just to turn around and ask him to kill him. However, Abraham did as God wanted him to do and brought Isaac to the place that God decreed. He prepared Isaac and was about to complete the sacrifice when he was stopped by the angels of God. God told him that because Abraham had been obedient to God’s will, he would get more than he had ever hoped for before.

At the time that we are going through whatever it is that we are going through, we are tasked with trusting God to give us what we need. Our trust and obedience shows to Him our own love language that we have for God. When we place our trust in Him, then we echo Jesus in the powerful prayer that He gave in the Garden of Gethsemane where He spoke to God the Father before His crucifixion and said “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet, not as I will, but as you will.” Even Jesus, during His time on Earth, knew that it is only when we obey God, that we can achieve what we need to achieve. Can you imagine how hard that must have been for God? He sent His own Son to die on the cross for us. As undeserving as that was, Jesus did it because it was the only way to truly rid ourselves of sin so that we could be with God in Heaven when our time on Earth is done.

We don’t need to understand how our lives will turn out, but we do need to trust God to put us on the right path. (Related post: Just going with the flow….). He’s the only one who can!

So, what did I learn from this? I can look back and see now, so many times that I went down this path and not that path, or how I seemed to be guided in a particular direction. It is only in hindsight that I now am starting to see that God had a purpose and meaning for my life. When I Let Go and Let God, I found that He carried me and made me the person that I am today.

What can you gain from this? I know that the hardest thing that anyone can do, is to stop trying to control their life. (Related post: Our God Waits). I get it. I really do! I know how hard it is to trust in something that you can’t see. It’s especially hard to trust in this day and time when it seems that evil is winning and we may even wonder where our God is. Remember though that God has a plan. You are part of that plan. Just know that your peace will only come when you give your will over to God. Trust in Him to know what He’s doing.

Pieces of the Same Puzzle

There are times that I love puzzles and, of course, there are times that I get frustrated with them just as easily. I think that it depends on how complicated the puzzle is and how many pieces it has as well. I think about if it has some precise details that make it more complicated to put together, only because they all look the same. Sometimes, I have found that I will have to just walk away and then come back to it later. I have also found that I need to concentrate on small sections that can then help me to begin to see the big picture of what I’m working towards.

Of course, if you’ve read my blog much then you know that this isn’t really about puzzles. Right? Actually, I see that the pieces of a puzzle can be an analogy for people too. People are frustrating. They are complicated and complex. Usually annoying, but then they can be so very engaging as well. You have your “pieces” that are bad or make bad choices but then I also consider that there are so many that are good and try to live good lives.

If we begin to see each other as small pieces of a much larger puzzle that God has designed, then we can begin to see things in the world in a new light. In a puzzle, the pieces are already cut and must go in a certain area or then the picture will not make sense. However, there is no pre-cut, certainty of how the people puzzle will work or even how we can all fit together. However, when we take the time, take a step back, and evaluate instead of just jumping in with our emotions, we may begin to see the bigger picture. We need each other in order to get there. We just have to do it together.

So, what did I learn from this? I don’t think that I will ever truly understand people and why they do what they do. They sabotage themselves and then don’t want to understand why they keep having problems. It makes me want to just shake them and shout, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!? Wake up!”

But the thing is, that until they are ready to see it, you can’t really help them. They have to be ready to receive it in their own timeframe. What you can do, though, is get down on your knees and have lots and lots of prayer for that person and many, many other people in this world. We have a God who works in mysterious ways and you never know when or where someone will be impacted. Trust me, I’ve seen what the power of prayer can do. We have a God who listens. Isn’t that an awesome thing!

What can you gain from this? When we pray for others then we open ourselves up to others’ pain and suffering. It helps us to step outside of ourselves and empathize with what other people are going through. We might not be able to change their circumstances but then again sometimes we can. We can become more giving and loving to others. (Yes, even the ones that are the hardest to deal with. Trust me, they really need it the most!) It’s also that you’ve begun to understand a portion of why they’ve been acting the way that they do. The other thing that you can gain? You also may begin to realize how powerful prayer can be. It can then become a huge wave of people beginning to understand and realize that things need to change and they are the ones to make a difference. One thing that I know is? It certainly never hurts, that’s for sure!

Always Room for Growth

When I was younger, I had always wondered why my life took so many twists and turns. Now that I’m older (not always wiser, but I feel as though I’m getting there!), I’m starting to see now how those twists and turns have gotten me to where I am right now. My husband, Barry, said something to me when we first got together and before we got married that always stuck with me. He stated, “I try to learn something in everything that I do.”

In other words, he was stating that there was always room for growth. I’m going to take it a step further and say that that statement should hold true to our professional life and our personal and religious life. Each is tied to the other and makes for a more well-rounded individual.

We need to realize that there is so much that we can learn from each other. We don’t have to always agree, but maybe by watching someone else, we can learn what not to do in our own life. Maybe, by reaching out to others, we can begin to empathize with them instead. Maybe, we can be inspired by how another person holds to their dignity even as they go through something terrible. Maybe, just maybe, it can make us become better people by learning from others.

There’s always room for growth in how we handle ourselves and the things that go on in our lives as well as what we can learn from the world around us. I know that it’s never easy to change ourselves. In fact, I think that it’s one of the hardest things that we have to learn how to do. However, the reward can help us become a better version of ourselves than we were before. (Related post: Seeing the Potential). Just think of it as a “makeover”. Who doesn’t want that? Here’s me in the background, yelling, “YES, PLEASE!!!”

So, what did I learn from this? I like who I am now. I’m also finding that I’m really liking where I am now. All those different pathways that I took long ago, have led me to this place. I can now look back and see that all those things that I learned from those twists and turns in my path through life, were what made this time in my life better. Am I done learning? I hope not! I hope that I can continue to say that until the time that I’m ready to go and be with God. It’s humbling but also so very rewarding at the same time. (Related post: Learning to accept the challenges of life)

What can you gain from this? It’s hard when you don’t know where you’re going. It’s also hard when you don’t understand the purpose behind where you’ve been, either. I think that the key to figuring out what you’ve gained is to write down all of your experiences (yes all, as in the good, the bad, and the ugly). Then take each one of those experiences and figure out what you learned from that experience. Sometimes, we just need to see it in black and white in order to get the full effect. It certainly couldn’t hurt and you never know what you can gain from it unless you try.

Taking the Moral High-Ground

It’s always difficult to teach children how to make good choices. However, in today’s society, how can we help them to have morals that they can learn to live with for the rest of their lives?

Let me tell you some things about what my husband and I choose to do with our own children. Our first-born, Marc was somewhat of a precocious child. If you told him that the sky was blue, he would say to you that it was purple. While I loved that about him, I also knew that we needed to make sure this young man that we were raising could learn how to follow other people’s rules and not just make the rules he wanted to pursue. We also wanted to have a child who would be able to make good choices as he got out into the real world. Our youngest son, Alec, waited until he was a teenager when he tried our patience with some of his antics but the end result was……

I can actually tell you that we succeeded in raising young men we are very proud of! They both have excellent jobs that they enjoy. They also help out by contributing to the family’s needs while still living here at home. In addition, they each have a code that they follow. They understand the difference between right and wrong choices. How did we do that? They each were given consistent consequences that helped them to develop their own radar. Trust me, when I say that it’s never easy to guide young people into having morals in a world that increasingly tries to say that you are “anti-something” or other because of the values that you hold.

So, how do we keep to our morals in that world? You hold true to what you value in life. (Related post: Standing in the Way of Evil). Think about how your faith guides you in thinking about the world. Do you put God first and the world second or do you think of it the other way around? Trust me when I say that it makes a big difference which one you put first. I’d rather turn away from the world that puts me last and turn toward our God who puts me first. Remember that at the end of your lifetime, we all will have to go before God and answer for the choices that we’ve made in this lifetime. You can’t get around that, so think very, very carefully about where you stand so that you won’t have any regrets at the end of your life.

So, what did I learn from this? I know that it doesn’t seem like God is on our side, especially after what happened in Uvalde, Texas where innocent lives were needlessly lost. I’m not going to get into the mind of the person who did that, but I will say that only someone who is missing out on God could have pulled that trigger without a second thought.

We need to put God back in our lives. We need to think about how hatred hurts all of us and then get on our knees and ask Him for His help in healing our minds and hearts. Yes, you can also vote your conscious as well, but God is still at the root of it. Without Him? I don’t really want to contemplate what could actually happen if we don’t change course soon.

What can you gain from this? I have such peace with God even as I struggle to understand how humans can do evil in this world. We try to blame God for what humans choose to do, but I know that with God, our world becomes a much better place to live. If you want that peace that those of us who know Him do, then ask Him to heal you. Trust me. He’s the only one who can.

The Value of Life

I recently had a friend call me. He asked me if I could sing at his nephew’s funeral. The saddest part about this funeral was that this nephew of his was only 32 years old and he had died due to an overdose. How sad I felt for this family. And the worst part was that he died on Mother’s Day. Such a tragic loss.

So, I think that we need to ask ourselves some questions about what the value of a life is. God created us. I like to think that He and all those under Him in Heaven, weep when there is a needless loss of life. I feel that this includes those who have drug addictions in addition to the life that was snuffed out before it could even be born. What about those lives lost who died fighting for a cause that they believed in? What about those who put their life on the line in the service of others? I could go on and on. The examples are endless.

The point of this post? It’s to remind us that all of life is precious. From the ones that are yet to be born all the way to the old and feeble. From the sick with health issues to the simplest of minds. I think that it’s time that we begin to see that and take each life as a precious commodity that God cares for. We need to see each other as God sees us-valuable, loved and infinitely redeemable. We need to treat each other as we ourselves would like to be treated, with dignity and respect. It’s not that hard really. We just need to take the time as well as make the effort. Life is worth that amount of respect that we should have for each other.

So, what did I learn from this? I love you. Why? That’s what God wants me to do. I don’t have to agree with the way that you live your life or what you believe or even how you act. All I need to do is love you because God loves you. It’s that simple but trust me when I say it’s not as easy as it looks and I have to work at it sometimes. Even though it’s hard, it’s what God wants me to do. As a child of God, I can do no less than that nor should I.

What can you learn from this? We all have value in the eyes of God. There is no one, and I do mean no one who will value you more than Him. Humans are flawed. We don’t have the depth of God’s love but we can learn and we can grow and become better. We just have to remember that we have to work at it all the time. Love makes everything better.

Miracles Exist

Yes, miracles do exist. How do I know that? I just had one!

I recently had done a post titled God’s Got This. In that post, I thought that I had had pre-cancerous cells in my uterus, but what I actually had was Stage 1, Endometrial Cancer. The doctor stated that it actually was what they termed a Probable Stage 1A, which means that it had just started to grow and hadn’t spread its tentacles out. Notice that I said had. I ended up having a hysterectomy in April in which they removed my uterus. As they sliced and diced it, they found a 1mm cancerous section. When I spoke with the doctor yesterday, he said that we had taken care of it. It was gone! I had my miracle.

My miracle was that I have a God who gets me to a doctor whose radar was triggered by something that was off in my body and that she wanted to do more to figure it out. My miracle was the so many family and friends that prayed for me when it could have been so much scarier. Those prayers are what helped me to completely turn my very scary issue over to a loving God!

In the movie, Miracles from Heaven, Anna Beam was a young girl who had to live with a very rare incurable disorder that affected her ability to digest food. During this time, her mom, Christy, struggled with her faith. At the time, she doesn’t see how God is there guiding her through. However, at the end, when Anna is cured, Christy sees that they had experienced miracles the whole time that they were going through this journey. Yes, Anna was healed after a horrific accident where she fell into a hollow tree. That part was God, but what her mom also needed to see were the little things that those around us do for us when we’re really not paying attention or we are consumed by our own suffering.

Those are our miracles. So, maybe yours isn’t cancer. Maybe it’s something else that you are struggling with. Maybe it’s nothing huge. Maybe it’s a small thing that is affecting you in some way. Don’t hold on to it and keep that pain inside. Reach out to a God who loves you and values you, but also realize that you need to reach out to your family and friends as well. They can’t help you until they know what’s going on. I have found that God likes to work in the simplest of ways. Your miracle is out there. You just have to look in order to see it.

So, what did I learn from this? Our God isn’t just awesome sometimes. He’s awesome all the time! Stuff happens. There are no two ways around that. I have found that while I may be suffering my very worst fear, that is when He is carrying me in order to get me to the next phase that He has planned. (Related post: Traversing the hills and valleys of life with grace). I just have to give Him the reins. So far? It’s been a very interesting ride!!

What can you gain from this? Life is still scary, but once you have God then you know that He can make it just a little less scary. It’s learning how to let go and let God do what He wants to do in your life. That is the hardest step for us to take. Yes, even with the not-so-fun things that we as humans suffer through, He has a purpose. So…. are you ready for your miracle yet? Start looking, because those miracles are all around you.

God’s Promise

Psalm 118:8 states that “It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.” According to the website, http://www.merriam-webster.com, the word refuge means to find shelter or protection from danger or distress. More specifically, in the Bible, it means that God can always be trusted to look out for us so that we don’t need to be afraid.

So, what do you think the meaning of Psalm 118:8 is? Does it mean that we can’t trust men at all?

No, because I know that there are good people who exist in this world, but no one can be trusted as fully as God can. That’s His promise to His people. He gives us that safe place where we know that we won’t be judged or looked down on because of our past mistakes. (Related post: Finding Our Safe Space)

But isn’t that the truth of things? I know many people. In fact, there are many, many good people that I’ve made sure to surround myself with. Yet as many good people that there are out there, there are also those who don’t care about what happens to us. God’s not like that at all! We have a God who waits for us to humble ourselves and ask Him for healing so that we can find that refuge that we all want. (Related post: Our God Waits). We have to look within and see our faults so that we can ask Him for forgiveness. God alone can heal us and make us better than we were before, but He won’t do it until you ask. It’s the hardest step, I know because I’ve been there myself. However, if you want to find joy and peace, then it’s the most important step to take.

So, what did I learn from this? Humbling yourself is so hard. There was a poem I read one time and although I can’t remember who wrote it or even the whole part of it, there was one portion that stuck with me. So, in the poem, it states that this person had come to God so that He would fix everything that was broken in their life. And here is where I only remember a small but what I feel is a significant part of the poem that I will try to quote exactly. It stated, “In frustration, I snatched it back and said, “My God, why are you so slow?” And He said, “My child, you never did let go.””

That poem always, always, always is a reminder to me that if I want peace and joy, then I have to trust Him enough to let go so that He can help me. Trust me, I’m still working on that even though, I can tell you that it has surely gotten easier over time!

What can you gain from this? The point of that part of the poem is so true for all of us. God can’t give us TRUE healing until we are fully ready to give it to God. God gave us free will, but we keep messing it up because we aren’t trusting Him to fully take over and cleanse us. Until I fully let go and then gave it to God, I was only half of the person that He knew that I could be. Yeah, it’s hard. I get that. But you can’t heal your hurt if you don’t trust Him enough. When you are able to let go, then you start to realize that it wasn’t such a hard thing after all and then the next time is that much easier.

The Value of Truth

I’m hopeful that many of us have heard of the story at some point in our life about The Boy Who Cried Wolf. This is a fable that was attributed to Aesop, a Greek storyteller from 620-564 BCE. In this story, which I will summarize for you, Aesop tells of a young boy who was a shepherd. He was very bored with his job and wanted to have some fun with the villagers, so he proceeds to run back to the village, yelling that there was a wolf that had come to attack the sheep and that he needed their help. He did this several times and each time the village people would run out in order to protect their property. The boy thought that this was very amusing, so he laughed and laughed each time about how he had tricked them. In the end, the people became very angry at this young boy, so they decided that they would not listen to him if he did it again.

Of course, he did call for them again, but this time there was a wolf who had come to attack the sheep but no one would listen.

Why? Why is it that no one would listen when it was actually the truth that time?

To understand that, you have to understand the moral of the story. The moral of this story points to a truth that we too often forget, especially in today’s world, and that is: When someone constantly lies, then they lose the trust of others.

Now, it has gotten to the point that in today’s time, we have begun to mock those people who do that in order to hopefully shame them into recognizing what they’ve done. All too often, that hasn’t worked though. We know that because these are the same people who continue to lie. They haven’t learned this moral or the lesson. They haven’t learned that they are no longer trustworthy because they don’t value the truth. Or is that they keep hoping that the lie will eventually become the truth? Honestly, I don’t know.

My hope is that each of you reading this has understood that the lie(s) will keep getting bigger. You may have come to realize the value of the truth and know that if the lie keeps getting perpetuated then the person who perpetuates that lie, is also untrustworthy as well. Ron White, a comedian, said, “You can’t fix stupid.” If you’ve tried to correct them and they still refuse to stop with the lies, then all you can do is tune them out and listen to those who are trying to speak up and speak out about the things that matter to you. Trust me, you don’t want to go down that whirlpool with them.

So, what did I learn from this? I’ve always been taught to trust my instincts. I’ve found that if something smells fishy, I have learned to ask myself why it smells fishy. I value the truth even when it is hard to hear. It makes me a better person. I surround myself with others that I can trust to look out for my best interest as well as theirs.

What can you learn from this? Learn to trust your instincts. Learn to question that person’s motive for lying. Realize that if they don’t value themselves enough to tell the truth, then they certainly don’t value you either. You deserve so much more than that! Yes, the truth is always hard to hear, but think about how much better off you will be because you had recognized and valued the truth. You could say that you have become enlightened and that is NEVER a bad thing!

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