Finding Our Safe Space

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We just added to our immediate family unit. We have a friend whom I will just call Kay who recently moved in with us. She has now become part of the family. Unfortunately, she has to sleep on the couch because we don’t have an extra room but we’re making it work. She had a need that we could fulfill. She needed a safe place in order to regroup, where she wasn’t made to feel less than what she was. I find that the most difficult part about her situation is that it was her mom and other family members who call her a “black sheep” just because she’s made mistakes in her past. They haven’t let her live those choices down, no matter what she has done to prove herself now. So, she needed a family who would support her and help her to feel that success. She also needed a place where she didn’t have to worry about verbal abuse and cut downs.

We all have a need to find a safe place where we are loved and cared for. We all need to have a place where our past doesn’t matter, only the future that we are trying to create at this moment. We have that with God. He gives us our safe space because we matter to Him. For whatever it is that we are going through, He loves and cares deeply for us. We all need to know that it is okay to reach out and ask for help. That doesn’t make us weak. Our strength is in getting through our perceived failures. (Related post: Accepting failure is actually the key to success). When we’ve come through those low points, then we are lifted so much higher!

So, what did I learn from this? The whole safe space thing has made me realize that how we treat others, matters. I can’t always give as much as I would like to but the important part is that I give what I can. Why? It may make a difference to someone and it also demonstrates that I am attempting to show God’s love in the ways that I can. Remember that God is love and love needs to be shared. When I put my life in God’s hands, He shows me what He wants me to do with it, just as it says in Matthew 25:37-40. Let me sum it up, when we’ve tried to help others in all the ways possible, then we have done it for Him as well.

What can you gain from this? Put others first before yourself. That person who cut you off in line, don’t repay them by getting in their face and yelling. Instead, pray for them and try to look beyond what is just on the surface. We can’t know what that person is going through. They might have gotten some devastating news, for all we know. Give others the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes that doesn’t always work. So try to pray for them instead, asking for God to heal them and to help keep you from anger. You never know if something will help unless you try. Kindness goes a really long way.

An Interesting Life

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I’ve always admired people who were able to work in one job until they were ready to retire. I can’t say that I’ve been able to do that, though! When I was younger, I used to wonder why I never could seem to stay in one place for long periods of time. I used to think that there was something wrong with the fact that I had had many, many jobs over the course of my life up to this point. (Related post: Traversing the hills and valleys of life with grace). Maybe it’s with getting older that you become wiser, but I now know that I shouldn’t regret the twist and turns that my life has taken. I can fully say now that I’ve led a very interesting life, to say the least. The so many twists and turns that my life has taken have given me more than I might have had if I had stayed in one job.

Why is that, you may ask?

I found that I grew and blossomed. I learned and became more than who I was before. I thrived and prospered.

How did that happen? I had a family who supported me as I struggled to understand the path that God wanted me to take. I had friends who prayed for me as I grew to know that God’s purpose in my life was so much more than I had thought that it could be or even should be. God knew that I had needed all of those interesting twists and turns in order to grow and blossom, in order to learn and become more, and in order to thrive and prosper. This was God’s plan all along. I just had to trust Him and go along for the ride! (Related post: Finding the Strength Within Our Struggles).

My advice, try not to regret how you got to this point. If you learned from all those twists and turns, then you now possess the power to help others. That’s an awesome power to have!

So what did I learn from this? I like to be in control of where I’m going, but I had to learn to let go and let God so that He could guide me where He wanted me to go and so that I could learn what He needed me to learn. It’s all part of His grand scheme when we are open to Him!

Realize that God gives us free will but one of the best gifts that we can give back to God is that free will. When I gave it back to Him, He lead me in so many different directions! Even though I didn’t understand at first, when I opened myself up to God, then the things that happened in my life have become much clearer. I see things with so much more clarity that I couldn’t see before!

What can you gain from this? The thought that I want to leave you with is this, try not to be overly concerned about the many twists and turns that your own life has taken. Understand that God has a plan for you and these twists and turns might have always been a part of you discovering the person that you were meant to be. You now know that you are much wiser than you were before and can put everything into a better perspective. Then you too can also say that you’ve led an interesting life as well!

Our God Waits

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Most people have heard the many stories that Jesus told the Pharisees and the Scribes as he was ministering to the people. There is one story in particular that Jesus told that, I believe, can have such a huge impact on us today and that is The Parable of the Lost Son which is found in Luke 15: 11-32. This parable has such a rich and deep meaning. In this parable, a man has two sons and the younger son asks for his inheritance early and then goes off to spend it lavishly and in a very sinful manner. When he is broke and has to get a job working with the pigs, he realizes that he has sinned and goes back home so that he can ask for his father’s forgiveness. The father sees him coming home and rejoices because his young son has returned home from a life of sin. His father knows that he was lost but now was found. His father throws a feast in celebration, however, the oldest son is angry because his father never did anything like that for him. The oldest son can’t forgive his own brother or let go of his own anger at his father for what he sees as unjust treatment.

So, how does this parable relate to today?

We need to realize that we have a Father in Heaven who waits for us to realize that we are sinful and to not blame others for what we choose to do or even what we don’t do. (Related post: Just Passing the Buck). We also have a Father who knows that we need to be more forgiving of those who do us harm. This is not to say that you haven’t released that other person from their own sin (that is on them), but you have instead released yourself from the anger that holds you from accomplishing all of what our God knows that you can accomplish!

In addition, during the Lenten season, while we wait on our Lord and Savior to rise up after His crucifixion, we need to realize that our God also waits for us to understand and recognize that we are sinful creatures and that we need to come back to Him on bended knee. We have a God who waits on us just because He loves us enough to look past all of our faults to see the bounty and beauty of what we could be. He won’t hold our sins over our heads. We do that enough on our own! (Related post: My dad always said that “You can’t woulda, shoulda, coulda…..”). God knows that we can’t change our past. Instead, He wants us to look forward to our future. He wants us to see the potential of what we can do if we just let go of everything that holds us down and keeps us from reaching out to a God who loves and values who we are.

So, what did I learn from this? I’m a sinful person, but God loves me anyway. God loves the potential of me. God loves that I listen to Him and knows that I hear, most of the time, what He’s trying to get me to understand. God knows my heart and He rejoices when I do the right thing. God hears my prayers and gives me the answers that I need. Simply, God loves me!

What can you gain from this? Knowing our God can bring you peace. Knowing our God can give you joy. Knowing our God can help you to understand that He loves you just as you are. He doesn’t ask that you change the essence of who you are. He just wants you to be better than what you are right now. He wants you to know that He will wait on you to come to Him and ask Him for His forgiveness. Our God waits because He loves you. It’s just as simple as that.

Just Passing the Buck

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I used to take care of children as a nanny. During that time there was one particular incident that had stayed in the back of my mind. This young child that I was taking care of had just passed by a wall. She ran into the wall then turned around and slapped at the wall with her hand. I asked her what she was doing and she stated that her mom had told her that if she ran into the wall then to just hit it. Now, it made an impact on me because her mom was essentially telling her to blame the wall for her own actions.

Hmmmmm…..

I really couldn’t just let that go. It sounded too much to me like she was not understanding the consequences of her actions and if anyone who has read my blog knows, I don’t like that at all. So, after she had told me what her mom had said, I proceeded to tell her that the wall had always been there and her job was to go around the wall. If she wanted to blame anyone then she needed to blame herself for not being more careful. Oh, and by the way, this little girl has turned out to be a very beautiful and productive citizen now.

The point that I’m trying to make here is that there are too many people in the world who like to pass the buck or blame someone or something else for the choices that they themselves have made. Ever heard the phrase, “They can’t see the forest for all the trees.”? Yeap, these are those sort of people. Unfortunately, I have been seeing that many of these same people are those who are in positions of power (government) and influencers, such as some of those in Hollywood.

The problem that I have with these sorts of people is that, right now, the choices that they’ve made haven’t hurt them. They’re insulated because of their power and wealth. However, it does affect those who aren’t powerful or wealthy. And that just boils my blood. Fortunately for us, the thing that they aren’t counting on is the fact that we have been watching and understanding more now than ever before. I also have begun to truly see that there are more of us than there are of them. So, ultimately, we are more powerful because we can see them for who they truly are and can take action to change where we want to go. (Related post: Correcting Our Course).

So, what did I learn from this? I have to be selective in whom I trust. I need to know that they have my best interest in mind. I need them to show me through their actions and not just listen to their words. I also know that actions speak so much louder than words ever can. I also know that if I don’t trust them now, I will never trust them and I need to look out for my own self-interest and what is best for my family, friends, and my country.

What can you gain from this? Pay attention to what is going on around you. Listen carefully to what is being said and compare that to their actions. If you are starting to get uncomfortable with what you are seeing then realize that there is a reason for that. Your instincts are trying to tell you that this is not a friend. They only want you because they think that they can influence you to vote for them or to go along with what they are saying. These very same people will turn on you in a heartbeat when you start to question them about their actions. Trust should never, ever, be given blindly. That’s how you get burned.

Correcting Our Course

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One of the definitions of the word course from www. merriam-webbster.com is “the act or action of moving in a path from point to point.” So let’s think about this, if I were flying to a specific destination from say New Orleans to New York, there would be a pretty specific path or course that the pilot would take. Right? He or she would have plotted this course through longitude and latitude. So, what if the pilot wasn’t able to plot his path or course well or there was something like a violent storm that threw the pilot off by just a little bit? We wouldn’t be where we had hoped to be, right?

More simply, we would have been thrown off our course. So, this understanding of our course is the very thing that we need to start taking back control of in our society. We need to start correcting our path. We have been thrown off of our path of being Godly people by those in our society who are not thinking about what is best for us. They have been talking to us as though we don’t know what is best for our own families and friends and neighbors. They look down on us as though we are lesser forms of life. Unfortunately, a lot of these same people are the ones that got themselves elected by telling us what they thought we wanted to hear, but not what they themselves actually valued. Fortunately, for us, we are beginning to see past the mask that they have in place and we are starting to realize that those very same people can be called out in a very public way and can also become unelected just as easily!

However, we have to go much further than that! Evil will never just bow down and admit defeat. In its most simplistic terms, let’s just think of evil for a minute as a bully. What makes the bully leave or keep it from having a victim? It leaves only when those around it stand up against it. We must continue to stand up and fight for what is right and have consistent consequences for those who do wrong. We must fight for the innocent and the weak. We must fight for the freedoms that too many of us have taken for granted. We must remember that our freedoms never come without sacrifice! We must not take them for granted ever again or next time, it might just be too late.

So, what did I learn from this? It’s never easy to recognize that we’ve been conned by those in power. They hide their true nature so well then they tell us that we are racist for pointing out what we see as the wrongs that they are committing. I refuse to be fooled by them. I refuse to sit by idly while they do their evil work. I also know that it will take all of us working together to change our course. This is not just a one-person job.

What can you gain from this? The mission or ministry of my blog is for each of us to find our joy. However, in finding our joy, we must confront what holds each of us back from getting there. Life will always be unexpected and will continue to try and throw us off of our course. Fortunately, we just have to recognize that we can make some corrections to get us back to where we need or want to be. Just remember that you are so much stronger than you ever believed that you could be and together we can get back on track!

A Light Shining in the Darkness

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It’s been a tough few years now, harder for some more than others. The thing that we have to remember is that we cannot change what was or what has happened. It also doesn’t mean that we must continually walk around in a negative state. Our world has been through many difficult upheavals before. Learning to survive and staying positive is one of the keys to becoming a light that shines in order to help yourself and others to pull through.

So, how do we do that?

We embrace joy and light and positivity. We become new and renewed through the understanding that we can’t change what was and learn to accept what is happening. (Related post: My dad always said that “You can’t woulda, shoulda, coulda…..”). We become empowered by shedding negativity and stepping into the light. In other words, we become the light shining in the darkness or become the city on a hill.

Bad things will always happen in life but remember that, good things will happen as well. Do we only turn to God when we need Him? Shouldn’t we make an effort to praise and thank Him all the time, during the good times as well as the bad times? We need to try and praise Him even when we are going through our low times as well.

God is with us in the good times and bad. He never leaves us! Remember, that God doesn’t just love us when we are happy and everything is going well! He loves us when we are going through all the other emotions that there are in life. Our God knows what’s in our hearts and always wants us to prosper in this life. However, He also wants us to know that He is ready and willing to give us the courage and fortitude to continue moving forward when life gets tough. (Related post: Finding the Strength Within Our Struggles). It’s so comforting to know that God is always present.

So, what did I learn from this? God is my strength in the good times and the bad times. I have to remember that I can’t control what others do, but I can control how I react and even what I do about it. Also, I can choose to scatter joy, like seeds. (Related post: God Calls Us to Scatter Joy Like Seeds to Others). That is truly my happy place!

What can you gain from this? I know how hard it is to be able to let go of all the worry and negativity that surrounds us, but you need to remember that you can’t control others! You can only control yourself. As difficult as it is, do your best to not take on the things of this world that are beyond your control. That’s God’s job and trust me when I say that God’s got this! (Related post: God’s Got This).

The True Impact of Our Words Versus Our Actions

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It seems to me that today, in this time and space that we live in, more people are not connecting the impact that they have with how they use their words and the actions that they do. It also seems to me that some people aren’t understanding how they are being lied to by those in power when the actions that these same people do, don’t match up with what they are saying.

I’ll give you some examples, like, there are those who go to the Catholic church but don’t believe in the sanctity of a baby in the womb and try to say that it is just a bunch of cells like cancer. Another example, there are those who spread lies to the people of their country about why they are engaged in a war of a neighboring country but control what the people hear about so that they don’t know the complete truth. Also, there are those who continue to feed a false narrative on their news broadcast about others even when the truth is being revealed right before their eyes.

These are people that we need to tread very carefully around and not trust. Their words are harmful because they don’t hold truthful statements. However, these are the same people who want you to mindlessly follow them without holding them to account for what they say. These are also the very same people who have a “do as I say, not as I do” or “rules for thee, but not for me” attitude.

This is the impact of their words versus their actions. How can we follow or believe in someone who chooses not to see that impact? How can we trust people who also choose not to own up to their own lies or actions?

The thing is, we can’t.

This is a wake-up call to all of us. We must value the truth and hold those accountable who choose not to be honest about the things that they say. We must call them out for the hypocrites that they are choosing to be. Remember that it takes all of us standing up to hopefully get them to understand that people’s words and their actions must be the same. We will not be lied to anymore by those in power. (Related post: Will everyone with common sense, please stand up for the truth?!?)

So, what did I learn from this? I want others to see that my words and my actions show who I really am and who I am choosing to be. I know that I want to be able to go before God when my time is done and know that while I am always a sinner, I have tried my very best to be the best version of myself that I can be during my time on earth. I want Him to know that my words and my actions had a positive impact on others.

What can you gain from this? No one deserves to be treated like they don’t matter. All of us matter. We also need to know that we are valued and loved and respected and, if we aren’t, then we have the right to stand up and stand against those who are choosing not to see our value and our worth. So, make your voices be heard!

Having a Wholesome Heart

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I was talking recently with a young man that is a participant in the center where I work. He is a beautiful young man with Asperger’s. Those who have Asperger’s don’t usually understand the nuances of when someone uses “catch” phrases to explain things. So, in this case, I was talking to him about another beautiful person that I speak with frequently named Ms. Eva. I was telling him that she was a very kind-hearted person.

Now, for those with Asperger’s, they think in very literal terms, as in this case, he was thinking of the heart that beats in your chest. So I explained to him that this phrase of being kind-hearted means that she is a person who is genuine and kind. She always has an encouraging word to say to others. In other words, she is the embodiment of what I would call a person who has a wholesome heart. She lives and breathes the gospel and she is certainly a testament to those who get to know her!

In doing what I do and getting to know the parents and caregivers of those with disabilities, has truly helped me to understand and believe in what it means to have a wholesome heart. Also, you don’t have to work only with those who have a disability, I think, more, that it is in how you treat others that you encounter all through your life’s journey.

Just think about the many, many people that you meet every day. It may just be that you share a kind gesture, give a simple compliment, or a smile that helps lighten their day, but it may give you dividends in return. Maybe you see a young mother shopping at the store while trying to soothe a fretful young child that you can help in some way. Maybe it’s in giving of a large tip for a struggling waiter or waitress that’s just trying to get through the day and get home. Maybe it’s just a kind comment about how an older lady looks while you are in church. There are so many more examples and ample opportunities available if we only look around ourselves to see.

My point about this is, try to find something that you can do that spreads some love, care, and concern to others. You might not even know that you made an impact, but that person knows it and that’s what counts in the end! (Related post: The Benefits of Kindness)

What did I learn from this? I’m better when I share that part of me that likes to help and give. It’s so hard, though, when there are those who abuse it or take advantage of it, but I have found that I am resilient because that is how I am made. I have also found that my mission is the gift of joy that God gave me so that I may pass it on to others. What a wonderful God is He!!

What can you gain from this? When we struggle in a world that doesn’t look very redeeming, then that is when we need to pull together all of our inner strength and say, “I will choose to have a wholesome heart today.” And when you wake up tomorrow and the next day and the day after that until your time on earth is done, repeat that phrase over and over again, like a mantra. If you believe it then you will live it. When you live it then you become it. Then you, too, will have a wholesome heart.

Standing in the Way of Evil

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What happens to those who do evil when others stand up? Does it slink back down and try to hide? The short answer? Yes. Those who do evil things cannot stand for it to see the light of day. Those who do evil hate when their evil is exposed. They will, instead, try to justify their actions or even blame others for the acts that they have done.

Remember, these are not people with a conscience. One of the unfortunate things is that we can’t guilt them into remembering that they are hurting others. Their sole purpose is power. Once this is known and acknowledged then it can be pushed back on.

How? How do we push back against those who mean to cause us harm? How do we fight against those who want us to just give our will to them?

We stand up and stand firm on our principles. We fight back. We show the world the light that we want others to see. Remember that we are called to be a light in the darkness, a city on a hill. However, to do that we must also, according to Ephesians 6: 11-12, “Put on the armor of God so that you may be able to stand firm against the tactics of the devil. For our struggle is not with flesh and blood but with the principalities, with the powers, with the world rulers of this present darkness, with the evil spirits in the heavens.” In verse 16, it goes on to say, “In all circumstances, hold faith as a shield, to quench all (the) flaming arrows of the evil one.”

In other words, we have to become God’s army. We can’t just pray evil away. In addition, we must also stand up to evil. We must stand and push back against what they want. We must hold them accountable. Also, remember that they certainly don’t have our best interest in mind. How do you fight a bully? You stand and fight. Evil can’t stand it when others show strength. Or as in the movie Air Force One, the character, President James Marshall, played by Harrison Ford said, “Ha Ha! The good guys are here!” So, let’s go win this war!

So, what did I learn from this? In order to conquer evil, I must be willing to stand up and stand firm on my beliefs. I must continually remember that God’s strength is my strength. He never asks more of me than I can give even when it may seem that way. I have to realize that He is the reason that I am where I am and that He has called me for this purpose.

What can you gain from this? Remember that the devil is sly and he hates it when others are empowered. When you stand up to the devil then your light will shine and you will be so much stronger than you ever thought that you could ever be. It also means standing firm when you want to go hide. It means that God sees all of who you are and needs all of who you can be to fight in order to help win this war.

Called to Serve

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Each of us has been blessed with our own unique talent or even, multiple talents. The thing about talents is that yours will be different from mine and mine will be different from yours. Growing up, I would compare myself to the things that other people could do well and I could only do mediocrely. I felt inferior at that time because I was comparing myself to someone else. Luckily, that is not something that God does. I feel that what God really does is that He wants for us to serve where and when and how we are the most comfortable. It’s our talent that He gives us that He wants us to then share with the world.

In serving others, we need to remember that not everyone will appreciate or be receptive to what we do. However, we should not let that stop us from serving others in whatever capacity that works.

I was reminded of this when I remembered how Jesus commissioned His disciples to go and minister to the people. In Matthew, chapter 10, Jesus told them of the trials and tribulations that would come during their time of ministry. I did come back to verse 14, in which He stated that “Whoever will not receive you or listen to your words- go outside that house or town and shake the dust from your feet.”

What Jesus is telling us is that we can’t force others to understand or believe the way that we do, but we still need to try to reach others. We can’t save others from themselves if they are choosing to do the wrong things. Jesus is also telling us in that chapter and, in particular, that verse, that at least we tried to reach them and that makes all the difference in the world. We didn’t walk away until we realized that there would be no change within their own hearts. The only thing that we can do after, is to pray for them and hope that they recognize their sins before it’s too late. (Related post: The time for reckoning is now).

So, what did I learn from this? Even when people are aggravating and acting foolish and I want to just throw up my hands and say, “Forget it!!”, Jesus isn’t letting me do that. He wants me to help Him and the Father, to spread His love and joy throughout the world. It always humbles me to know that He trusts me to help Him in the ministry. (Related post: God Calls Us to Scatter Joy Like Seeds to Others).

What can you gain from this? If you are new in your faith, I understand the uncertainty that you are facing. It can seem a bit daunting the prospect of sharing your faith. However, when you asked God to save you then He knew that you would be faced with many obstacles. Sometimes, the biggest obstacle is ourselves. So, my suggestion, trust that God knows you and knows exactly what you are capable of. (Related post: God’s Got This). Also, remember that it is in serving others that we are also serving God.