The Value of Our Perceptions

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An interesting thing happened to me when I was looking up the definition of perception, the word discernment came up. “Why is that interesting?”, you may ask? Well, I will tell you.

According to http://www.merriam-webster.com, “Some common synonyms of discernment are acumen, discrimination, insight, penetration, and perception. While all these words mean “a power to see what is not evident to the average mind,” discernment stresses accuracy (as in reading character or motives).” And according to Oxford Languages, the definition of perception is, “the ability to see, hear, or become aware of something through the senses or a way of regarding, understanding or interpreting something, a mental impression.”

So, how do we marry these two similar definitions? Let’s, instead, think about it this way, when we discern then we are taking our perceptions a step further. We are using our senses to understand the motives behind what we are seeing and hearing. We are becoming…..enlightened or insightful. We are beginning to see what others may want to keep hidden.

Our perceptions and discernment of any situation that we come across are more akin to, I think, trusting your gut. If something smells fishy and rotten then it usually is. I think that we have come to a point where we are believing too much of what someone says and not focusing on how they are acting. This is the value that you give your perception and discernment of the world around you. My advice? Stand firm on the values that have meaning to you regardless of what others try to tell you. This can be the foundation that helps you to discover happiness more fully.

So, what did I learn from this? I have found that how a person acts or behaves is more a true assessment of their overall character. I have learned how to discern who and what is good for me. I have also found that I value those qualities in whom I choose to surround myself with and what I am willing to put up with.

Trust me, it is not always easy to stand up for myself. Unfortunately, I’ve had to do it but it takes a lot for me to get to that point. However, when I have, then I know that I was and am justified in doing so.

What can you gain from this? Pay attention to what people are saying and how they are saying it. If someone is talking down to you in a demeaning way, then stand up for yourself. Learn to trust your instincts more and then you will realize who your true allies are. Trust me, you will be better off in the long run.

The Perfection of God’s Love

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According to 1 John 4:16-18, it states that “We have come to know and to believe in the love God has for us. God is love, and whoever remains in love remains in God and God in him. In this is love brought to perfection among us, that we have confidence on the day of judgment because as He is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment, and so one who fears is not yet perfect in love.”

Isn’t that the most amazing thing? God loves us and we did nothing to earn it or even deserve it! However, that is the beauty of God’s love. It doesn’t come with strings or conditions. It just is. In fact, to ensure that we were going to be able to be with God in Heaven, He sent His Son, Jesus down to us. God sacrificed His own Son to die on the cross in order to take our sins from us. He essentially freed us, so that we could be with Him!

If that is not perfect love then I don’t know what is!!!

In the passage of 1 John 4:16-18, John is telling us that knowing what we know about our God, we don’t need to be afraid. We don’t need to have fear. If you have lived a good life, God knows and sees that. Even when you’ve made mistakes, He knows that as well and loves us despite when we’ve done wrong things. He knows what is in our hearts. He can and will forgive us but we have to be willing to ask for forgiveness. We know that we can’t hide from God, because when we try to hide, then we aren’t understanding that He loves us despite our many faults. He just desires to have a relationship with us. When we talk to Him, give Him our thanks, our burdens and ask for forgiveness then that is when we begin to understand that all of our fears can just melt away. (Related post: Unending Love)

So, what did I learn from this? The world (and I include myself here) sees all of my imperfections but God sees what’s in my heart. The world (and I include myself here) judges me based on how I look and act but God knows what’s in my heart. The world doesn’t love me for who I am and what I could be but God loves me because I’m me. I am the imperfectly perfect person that He created. That right there cancels out any fears that I could ever have.

What can you gain from this? We live in such a highly digital age, that we tend to judge others based on what they report is happening but we don’t actually know what really is going on. God’s not like that. He knows what we want even before we do. How? He knows what’s in our hearts. There is never any need to be afraid to share with God our deepest desires and hurts. He wants to be a part of the solution that causes all the fear you feel to be replaced by love.

There is no such thing as wasted time….

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I know, I know, I know…. But what I’m talking about is the time that we spend waiting for things and how we can use that time in a more productive manner. My point is, is that it doesn’t need to feel like wasted time. So, let’s talk about some examples. Think about when you are in the line at a grocery store and the person ahead of you has 50+ items (forgets one thing at the very back of the store) and you are both standing in the 20 items or less line. Another example is all the times that you were stuck in traffic either going to work or coming home from work or somewhere. What about when you are waiting in a long line for a COVID-19 test? I don’t mean to say that we can’t or even shouldn’t get justifiably angry at times, but….

Where is our patience? It’s not always there, is it? This new reality has become very challenging to all of us in my way of thinking. Don’t you agree?

So, what if we TRY something different, instead? What if we try to DO something different, instead?

Hmmm…. so, our first reaction is usually to yell and get angry. Question…. how is that going for you? It doesn’t solve anything at all, does it?

I can’t tell you what to do, I will only give some suggestions. You are responsible for how you react in any given situation. I will tell you that I always, always, always hate it when I have to second guess myself later about the choices that I made in a given situation. I’ve learned that you can’t change the past but you can learn from it. (Related post: My dad always said that “You can’t woulda, shoulda, coulda…..”)

So, my first suggestion is to stop and think before you open your mouth. Ask yourself what you would want someone else to do in your same predicament.

My second suggestion is to realize that time is relative, you can’t get it back but you can choose to take a different path. (Related post: Just going with the flow….). You can pass the time, instead, empathizing with another person, maybe helping them out in some small way or trying to find a way to make them and yourself laugh over it. Either way, the time you spent has become more pleasant instead of dissolving into anger.

My third suggestion is to start a dialogue with God. Say a quick prayer about some of the positive things that have happened in your life or thank him for being able to have a home or workplace to go to. Ask God to give you patience and then pray for others that you see around you.

Remember that it’s not wasted time if you gain something from it in the long term.

Realize that we are never going to agree on everything that others choose to do. The only person that we can control is ourselves. Remember that we all have our own thoughts and opinions but we can at least TRY to show more compassion when we are dealing with others even if we don’t agree or even understand what that other person is going through. It’s always worth a shot and, the end result just may be that you leave in a better mood than you would have thought otherwise. Times not wasted after all and there… don’t you feel better already?

So, what did I learn from this? Trust me when I tell you that this is something that I need to work on as well. However, I will tell you that when I have used these suggestions that I gave to you, it lifted up my spirits as well. I was left feeling as though I had passed on a little bit of goodwill. Isn’t that the point? To leave this world a little bit better off than we found it? Life is all about choices so I need to make sure that I make some good ones that I know that I can live with.

What can you gain from this? Maybe a better question is…. what do you WANT to gain from it? If you are angry all the time, then you might need to ask yourself why. You might want to consider talking to someone about it. Trust me, there is nothing wrong with getting some therapy. Twice, I’ve chosen to do it and each time it helped me see things a little clearer. When we are honest with ourselves then it can help us to find our happy places within. Isn’t that the point as well? Just, food for thought.

The Benefits of Kindness

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We live in a world today that is mired in technology and we have seemed to forget the benefits of simple kindness to our fellow human beings. ‘Tis the season of giving, yet we focus instead on getting the perfect gift and snarl and snatch from others. When Jesus came to this earth, he was born in a stable because there was no room for Him in the inn. He was placed in a manger because there was no bedding to lie Him in. He came as a child who grew into a man, who was loved by His earthly parents, Mary and Joseph. But He showed us the greatest benefit of the kindness of all because He was born for us so that He could die for us. God sent His only Son that He might come not to condemn the world but to save it.

That, to me, is the greatest benefit of the kindness of all. I don’t deserve that level of kindness. None of us do, but many of us have taken it for granted. We’ve lost our way, yet we have a God, who, time and time again, patiently waits for us to understand the level of His love and kindness that He feels towards His people.

So, how do we show God that we are beginning to understand?

Jesus gave us the greatest of commandments that God wants us to follow, that is according to Matthew 22: 37-39. “He said to them, “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.””

I also have found that these should be the simplest commandments to follow. And when we do follow them? What will happen then? The world will become a better place. It is that simple and that is the very best benefit of kindness. We are given love so we need to give love in return. (Related post: The Blessings That We Receive)

So, what did I learn from this? Having been married for 26 years with 2 grown children, I can tell you that I love my family all the time, I just don’t always like them because of the way that they may act or the things that they do. I wonder if God feels that way about us too, sometimes. Of course, He loves us because He wouldn’t continue to desire to have a relationship with us, otherwise. I am also sure that, like any parent, He can get frustrated with us when we don’t listen or obey. So, when I do God’s bidding of showing kindness to others, then it helps me to be better as well and I feel God’s love.

What can you gain from this? Love given is also love received. Not everyone will understand it or even appreciate it, but we have to try continuously. We can’t change another person’s circumstances that they are in, but we can pray for them and hope that they may find comfort in God’s ever-loving arms. The truth is that God loves us even when we aren’t at our nicest. I don’t know about you, but I like the fact that I AM loved all the time, even when I don’t deserve it. That, to me, can be the biggest gain of all.

The Blessings That We Receive

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This is our blessing….the birth of a child who was sent by God just because He loves us and He desires for us to be able to come and live with Him when we pass on from this life.

This is our blessing….having a screening that catches cancer or disease before it can become too overwhelming for our body to handle or our doctors to help treat or eradicate.

This is our blessing….being able to see and talk to friends and loved ones, to give joyful greetings, help comfort them in their sorrows and support them when they need an uplifting comment or to just have a shoulder for them to lean on.

This is our blessing….to be able to give money or clothes or food or toys to those who don’t have what we have and to be able to share in our own good fortunes in this life to someone who cannot provide for themselves.

This is our blessing….

Whatever your blessings are, either big or little, remind yourself of them often. The world can surely get overwhelming especially in this digital age. So take the time to count the many blessings that you have in your life. Never take them for granted, for this is surely the greatest blessing of all.

So, what did I learn from this? I am blessed. I may not always “see” those blessings but I know that they exist. On this day and every day, I ask that God helps me to be more in tune with the needs of others, as well, so that they can feel the same joy that I have experienced. I also pray that I never take these blessings for granted because what can be given, can also be taken away. I have learned to have “an attitude of gratitude.”

What can you gain from this? There are many negative things that can weigh us down so much so that we tend to miss the small things that can help lift up our spirits. So, take a moment (or more) to take into account the blessings that you have in your life. Then learn to never take them for granted either. I believe that blessings are meant to be shared, after all.

What is our purpose in life?

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I know that I have thought long and hard about this question. I just don’t find that it is always the easiest question to answer, however, I will try. First, though, I think that we need to look at the actual definition of the word, purpose, then go from there.

According to Oxford Languages, the definition of purpose is “the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.” Hmmm…. okay. Another thing that I looked up were synonyms for purpose, and according to http://www.merriam-webster.com, “some common synonyms of purpose are aim, design, end, goal, intention, intent, objective, and object. While all these words mean “what one intends to accomplish or attain,” purpose suggest a more settled determination.” Okay, I think now we are getting somewhere…

I guess if we look at our purpose in an “everyday” view, then we can say that our purpose may be to live a good and fruitful life or maybe to leave it better than we found it. That, I think, would be a lofty and noble purpose in life. However, I want to challenge you in thinking about adding God into that mix.

So, what do you think that God’s purpose is for you?

This is where it can get more personalized to you, or more specifically to what your talents are and how you use them to help others. You see, God is not just about us helping ourselves in the world. I know that He wants us to help others. How do I know that? Well, it says so in the Bible, according to Jesus, in Matthew 26:40, He states that “And the king will say to them in reply, ‘Amen, I say to you whatever you did for one of the least brothers of mine, you did for me’ ” And because Jesus is of God, then what we have done to help others, we are doing for God, Himself, as well. Whoo! Isn’t that crazy? So, I’m saying that anytime that you helped someone else in some form or fashion, you have been fulfilling some of your purpose in life. It’s as simple as that. Isn’t that something? We help God, by helping His people! It doesn’t get much better than that, to my way of thinking!

So, what did I learn from this? My purpose, I feel, is to scatter joy. (Related post: God Calls Us to Scatter Joy Like Seeds to Others). I also have found that my purpose may also be to share knowledge. Trust me, when I tell you that I have learned many, many things as I have lived my life. I also have found that God wanted me to share those “little nuggets” of knowledge in a positive and non-threatening way. Yes, as a people, our focus needs to change. It needs to be more on God than on the worldly things going on around us. God has a purpose in everything that He does, but we need to trust Him more.

What can you gain from this? God has given each of us our own unique talents. So, how are you using yours to help others? If you have money, then give to a worthy cause that helps others. Go work in a soup kitchen. Buy a meal for someone who looks like they could use it. Help an elderly person to cross the street….. the list is endless. My whole point is that you can be changed when you see the needs around you and then do just a little bit to help. You never know the impact that you may have on that person’s life or even your own.

The Beauty in our Differences

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I have had the pleasure of working with many beautiful people and none of them are perfect. These are people who go through life with open hearts and a-want to please others.

Who am I talking about? I’m talking about the many children and adults with disabilities that I have worked with over the years. The lessons that they can teach us are innumerable. This is what I’ve learned, so far, during that time:

  1. They don’t pretend to like you, they just do. Their only requirement is that you show them that you accept them for who they are.
  2. They don’t pretend to care about you, they just do. Their only requirement is that you show them that you care about them, too.
  3. They have feelings and hurts just like all of us. I have found that they are more honest than us about what those feelings and hurts are.
  4. They are more genuine that most of us “normal” people. They don’t have pretenses. What you see is who they really are.
  5. They don’t pretend that they are better than you. They just want you to be their friend.
  6. And lastly, but certainly not least, they want to know that they can be helpful to you in some way.

Every day, I am enriched by these beautiful people and the lessons that they continue to teach me about how to handle the differences that we see in all of God’s people in life. I like to think that God is testing us to see how we handle those with disabilities. I also like to think that they are God’s angels sent to earth to test us and for us to show our true selves in how we treat those who are not like us.

How we treat others shows the sort of person that we are. When we show compassion to another human being in whatever form that they come, then we are giving others a glimpse of our God in Heaven. God doesn’t see all of our imperfections, only humans do that. Instead, we have a God who sees the potential for what we could become, not as we are right now. (Related post: Seeing the Potential).

So, what did I learn from this? There are so many lessons to learn in life and some of my most memorable ones are the ones that involve working with others who are different than me. These individuals have shown me that beauty must go much deeper than the surface. They have also shown me not to take the simple things in life for granted. And mostly? They have shown me that love is so much bigger than hate.

What can you gain from this? Not everyone is able to work with those with a disability. Trust me, I get that! What I want for anyone who is reading this to understand, is that God made ALL OF US, special! He loves us for who we are, so, how can we not at least try to do the same for others? That acceptance of others is just a simple act that can make a HUGE impact in someone else’s life. And all you need to do? Make an effort and begin to look through life with a different lens. You might be amazed at what has, all of a sudden, become much clearer.

Realigning the Senses

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On the website, http://www.thoughtco.com, the meaning of align is stated as an action and is defined as the following: “According to Goffman, an aligning action is something a person does to indicate that they agree with the existing definition of the situation. Simply put, it means going along with what is expected. A realigning action is something that is designed to challenge or change the definition of the situation.” In other words, when you realign something, then you begin to think about it in a different way. In essence, you have begun to change how you think.

In the terms of Senses, I am talking specifically about seeing, hearing, thinking, and speaking.

So, what does that mean that we need to realign the senses? Think about this for a minute… Too many times we: 1) hear but don’t listen, 2) watch but don’t see, 3) think but don’t understand, and 4) talk but don’t speak truths.

When we hear but don’t listen, we know that someone is speaking words but we may fail to take into account the feelings that are behind them. People are very complex and when we take the time to listen, then we may hear what that person is really going through in life. We can then better understand them and maybe give them a sounding board. It certainly doesn’t mean that we have to agree with what they say, but we can respect their right to say it. We can then stop our own selves from being reactionary and instead give compassion to someone who is hurting.

When we watch but don’t see, then we are only using our eyes and not our intellect to judge the situation. It’s difficult to be patient with other people especially when we are having our own trials in life. When we see what others are going through, then we may be better able to take a step back and view the situation in a different light or even look at our own situation and see it as not so bad. That has happened to me many times when I’m feeling sorry for myself then I will hear someone else’s story. It makes me realize that I need to just change my perception instead.

When we think but don’t understand, we aren’t fully discerning what may be going on in that person’s life. While it is hard to always agree with how some people deal with a situation, we also have to realize that life tends to be the best teacher. Actions have consequences and as we live our own life then we need to try and help to teach others about what we’ve learned. My best advice has come from others who have more experience than me. We also can’t “save” others from suffering consequences, but we can at least show them understanding from the lessons that they will be learning along the way. We can also let them know that they are not alone.

When we talk but don’t speak truths, we are showing others that we can’t be trusted. We are ruining our own credibility. The truth is sometimes difficult to hear or even to say, but we can’t change our own attitudes unless we are being honest with ourselves.

Change can only happen when we realize that there is a problem to be fixed. I like the idea of realigning my senses because it shows that I am trying to be a better version of myself. You can never go wrong with that.

So, what did I learn from this? I try to think about what I want to say before I speak. Does that always work? Nope. Sometimes, I go back and I think, “Gee, I should have said that differently.” or “I shouldn’t have said that at all!” We are human but the best part about being human? I have found that I always, always, always have the opportunity to improve myself but only if I am willing to do so. I am still a work in progress and I like that. It gives me hope and joy!

What can you gain from this? What do you want to gain? Is it more patience? More understanding of human nature? My hope would be that you can begin to understand that we all need to become better versions of ourselves even when we are on the right path already. We are all works in progress. Remember that you don’t stop learning and growing just because you are on the right path. You just keep right on getting better.

Unending Love

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Who wouldn’t want to hear that there is someone out there who loves us completely, warts and all? In fact, we know that someone exists! It’s God and He loves us right where we are. He doesn’t give us a list of tasks to complete before He says that He can love us. Nope and that is what Much-Afraid (who later became Grace and Glory) learned in Hinds’ Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard.

In The Faith-Fueled Journey, we know that the fifth and final lesson that Grace and Glory learned was, “She knew that when we accept, bear and obey the Lord, nothing can separate us from His love.” God’s always there for us regardless of whether we turn to Him or not. However, when we make the choice to have a Joyful Acceptance and we learn how to begin Bringing Good Out of the Bad and we obey God in our journey, then God knows that we love Him as much as He loves us!! We can then start Seeing the Potential and make A Healing Transformation. When you have a transformation, you are changed and don’t want to go back to the way that it used to be in your life. You have become more joyful! And no one can take that away from you!!

To me, the most enduring thing about our God is that He loves us where we are. Let me repeat that again…..He loves us right where we are. Now, why is that important? We don’t have to change to have the love of God. He gives it freely but He will show us even more favor when we understand this and begin to live our lives through the five lessons that I discussed in The Faith-Fueled Journey just as Grace and Glory did. It doesn’t mean that we will never go through hard times or have difficulties. It just means that we will know that we have a God who walks beside us during our life and carries us when we need Him the most. That, to me, is the most comforting thing of all.

So, what did I learn from this? By opening myself up to God, I am starting to “see” with more clarity. Do I know everything? Of course not! I truly believe that our growth continues to happen until our time on earth is done. I’ve always had a great relationship with God, but, now? It’s even better! Why? I know that God is calling me to do things that I wouldn’t have done on my own. He knows where my talents are and is using them to help reach others. When we open ourselves up to Him, then wonderful things, miraculous things, can happen!

What can you gain from this? There is always risk involved when you open yourself up to God. So, what’s the best thing that could happen? He will begin to help you put your talents to good use as well. The better thing that could happen? You might begin to like it.

A Healing Transformation

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In The Faith-Fueled Journey, the fourth lesson that Much-Afraid (who later becomes Grace and Glory) learned in Hinds’ Feet on High Places by Hannah Hubbard was this, “Everything that is deformed and ugly can be transformed into good with love (when we choose to lay down our own will).”

First, let’s look a little closer at the definition of transformation. According to http://www.merriam-webster.com, the definition for transformation is this, “the act or process of changing completely.” One of the first things that come to mind when I think about something transforming is, of course, the caterpillar that changes into a butterfly. That is a physical example of transformation.

But what about the transformation that we can have inside? Somehow, we can also have a transformation of the body, mind, and soul. So, who or what can help us get to that point? Counseling surely helps but I have also found that my faith in God helps me to be transformed.

For Much-Afraid, she discovered that “Perhaps that is the reason why we are here in this world, where sin and sorrow and suffering and evil abound, so that we may let you (God/Good Shepherd) teach us so to react to them we can create lovely qualities to live forever. That is the only really satisfactory way of dealing with evil, not simply binding it so that it cannot work harm, but whenever possible overcoming it with good.” (Related post: When hatred assails, God prevails). Isn’t that a kick in the pants? You are putting a positive spin on something that was meant to bring you down. The devil hates that! And do you know what is even better than that? The devil can’t control it when we tell him to take all of his evilness back to hell with him.

When we allow evil acts or deeds to bring us down, then we are giving it a chance to beat us. We must always remember that we are so much stronger than that, individually as well as collectively, but even more so when we know that we have God on our side!

So, what did I learn from this? With God, I can do anything! He gives me the power to overcome those who want to bring me down. He humbles me and lifts me up all at the same time. I have become a better and much stronger person because of it.

What can you gain from this? Don’t let those people who do bad things corrupt you or make you believe that you are less than you are. Remember that God has a plan for you, so pray and put all your pain and sorrows in His capable hands. You just might be pleasantly surprised by the results!