A Joyful Mission

The choices that you make in this lifetime can define you.

Life is about choices. It is always about choices. How you respond to those choices, show the type of person that you are or who you want to ultimately become. Let me give you an example of something that happened to me and how I chose to handle it.

Recently, I was driving in Baton Rouge traffic to get to my job working with adults with disabilities. There was a woman who was swerving in and out of the lanes carelessly and she cut closely in front of me. I honked my horn one time to let her know that she needed to be careful. I realized that this was someone that I wanted to get away from, so I moved to the next lane, but she swerved to get in front of me. Every time that I tried to get away from her, she swerved to cut me off. I didn’t honk again and I decided it wasn’t worth it, so I slowed down and decided I was just going to wait her out by hanging back. She then got off at an exit and preceded to flip me off. I knew then that I had a choice. I could respond in kind or I could ignore the gesture. I think that I made an even harder choice because I chose to pray for her instead. She was very clearly an angry woman and it just made me feel that by asking God to help her, I could also heal my anger at her unjust actions against me.

Praying for that person at that time was not the easiest choice, believe me! I don’t feel more self-righteous than others because of choosing to pray about it. I just found that I needed to bring God into a situation that could have turned deadly. By bringing God into that circumstance that I was in, I found that it made me feel better rather than bitter, overall.

I know that many of us today are faced with all sorts of situations or people that cause us to just fume and want to blow our tops. My suggestion is…. don’t. Try another way. It never hurts and has all of the power to help and heal. We need that most in this world today.

What did I learn from this? Give everything over to God and I do mean EVERYTHING! It sure did help to bring my blood pressure down! I know that I can’t control what others do but I can control MY response. And guess what….. prayers are free! If I want to find joy within myself then that is the way that I can share joy, even if she didn’t know it at that time. My hope is that one day, she will be able to let go of her anger.

What can you gain from this? Ask yourself this question….Did I feel better after responding in kind? Most likely, the answer to that is….no, you really didn’t. Everyone needs to stand up to people who choose to bully, but also know that there is another way on how we can respond to negativity. I dare you to also give prayer a try, too. What do you have to lose?

In confronting the darkness, we can begin to see the light…

Have you ever noticed that sometimes our worst fears bring out our deepest anxieties about life? We tend to go to a dark place where we may feel that there is no way out. We may feel that we have lost all hope and can’t see our way clear. Life can do that to us, sometimes. And then, sometimes, it is through our most challenging times that we can start to see glimmers of hope.

Why do you think that is?

I know that running from our pain never changes the results, it just delays us from being able to process what we are going through. We all have, at certain times in our lives, been through something that caused us enormous pain. So how can you deal with it? How do you make it better?

The answer to those questions, don’t lie within us. The answer lies beyond us. Although we can’t see God, we know that He is ever present and wants to be a part of our lives. Remember, you can’t control what happens in your life. However, you can choose to turn your pain over to a God who loves you and wants you to know that He is walking with you every step of the way. This reminds me of the poem “Footsteps in the Sand” by Mary Stevenson. In this poem, the author wrote that she was troubled that it seemed that when she was at her lowest in life and suffered the most trials, that she only saw one set of prints in the sand instead of two when before God was always walking beside her. When she asked God about the one set of footprints, God replied, ” The times when you have seen only one set of footprints, is when I carried you.”

You see, God is always with us, even when our lives seem to be at its darkest. He never abandons us. The hardest thing that we have to do is trust Him to get us where we need to be. So, it is in confronting the darkness, that we can begin to see the Light. He is the Light that can pull you out of the darkness. Do you want Him to help you? All you have to do is…… ask Him.

What did I learn from this? I have to be open to the many ways that God is with me. He works through me and I have to trust His path and where He is taking me in this journey through life. He never said that it would be easy. Yet, He affirms His love for us in numerous scriptures in the bible. God knows what it is like to be human because He sent His Son, Jesus. Jesus, was fully God but fully human on earth. He knows our weaknesses, but He also knows our strengths as well, He made us, after all! He believes so much more in me than I believe in myself. That is such an awesome feeling and incredibly humbling as well!

So, what can you gain from this? Ever heard of the expression, “there is purpose in the pain”? I’m not sure where it comes from but when you go through trials, you have a choice…… it can make you stronger or you can allow it to defeat you. When you conquer the darkness, then you are stronger because of it. God is always there to guide you, help you and yes, at times, carry you. Will you ask for His help to see you through?

God Calls Us to Scatter Joy Like Seeds to Others

When I was growing up, my mom would always say, “Jennifer Joyce jump for Joy!”. I always liked the sound of that and have always tried to embody that spirit of joy throughout my life. It has not always been easy. Life gets in the way. My mom could always tell when I was not joyful by the tone of my voice when I would call. So, why do you think that God wants us to scatter joy like seeds? God never said that the journey of this life would be painless. However, I do think that through our pain, we can learn and grow in our faith. Remember, our life on this earth is short compared to the length of time that we can have with God in heaven. So, it is in that spirit of love that God gives to us, we are also called to show our joy to others.

Did I say that it would be easy? Of course not! By lifting others up then we can also gives ourselves a lift as well.

Consider this……. the tree or flower does not say to the seed that it can only go to one particular place or another. It doesn’t tell the seed that it can only be planted in one spot or another. No, the seeds go where the wind takes them. The seeds share their joy in the journey of being free to go when and where they please and to be planted when and where they please. Will all seeds grow? No, but their purpose is to try. (Related post: Seeds are a promise of progress) We are all called to do the same. We are not to be bound by one way of doing things but are called to love all, just as God loves all. We are one people and so, we too, are called to scatter the seeds of joy to others.

How can we do that?

You can show kindness to a stranger by helping in some small way, give a smile and a wave to a passing car, and say prayers for your country, your leaders and fellow citizens. You can help an elderly person in need or a mother who is struggling to calm a cranky child and shop at the same time. You can show interest in another person by just asking them about their day. These are just some of the many examples that you can try. In this life, you can make a choice to scatter seeds of joy and positivity by the actions that you do. God is in His people and how we treat His people, reflects who we are as well. Is it always easy? No. However, don’t let those who are negative get you down; instead, pray for them because they are, most certainly, in need of God’s love.

What did I learn from this? I think that the hardest part of spreading joy like seeds, is sometimes I, myself, might have to “fake it till I make it”. I know that I am not going to be joyful all the time. However, I have found that it is in giving that I will receive the joy back when just a small gesture from me can bring a smile to someone’s face. I can’t help, then, but smile back. The same goes that when I pray for that person who is snarly and grumpy, they might not know about it, but I do and in doing it, then I know that I am, at least, doing something for them. Just that one little thing can give me a boost as well.

So, what can you gain from this? Being joyful is contagious! Who can’t help but laugh at adorable animals and babies? They give their joy all the time without conscious thought. That is what we can gain. In gaining that joy and then sharing it, we can’t help but make this world a better place to be for ALL of His children!

Broad strokes are best for painting pictures, not for defining people

As a former special education teacher, we had access to every IEP (Individualized Education Plan) that that student had had since they had come into school. As teachers, when we would write these IEPs, then we knew that we needed to write about each student in an objective format and not a subjective format. That was a difficult thing to do at times. Our experiences with that person or a certain group of people can often be colored by our own feelings toward them or even what we hear about them from other people. In doing this, we are therefore trying to paint them with a broad brush, but that is not something that we should do. Broad strokes are for painting and CANNOT define people. As hard as it is, we cannot “lump” people all in one category. We have to look at each person as the individuals that they are. If we don’t, then we miss the beauty of God’s people because we were maybe only focused on one thing about them and it is not always the good stuff either!

Haven’t you noticed that some people will condemn a group of people as bad just because maybe they had a bad, or maybe several bad, experiences? I’m always sorry that that person had a bad experience, but we must work hard to not let it define how we look at others. Some people use those experiences and it colors how they look at the world and the people that occupy it. They’ve taken those broad strokes and presume to know all that there is to know about a person just by looking at them. Maybe I am just naive or maybe just supremely optimistic, but I like to look at each person as their own individual and not as a group. I have to work at this though, because it doesn’t always come easily. I found that when I want to get mad at a group of people or a person, then I will try and say a prayer for that person or group of people and even for myself as well. It helps me to change my perspective and has the added benefit of adding God to it as well.

That is hard for some folks to do. They get caught up in what others are saying and go along with it because it may seem to be the right thing to do at the time. They have replaced their own distinctive humanity with the crowds chanting. They fail to see the beauty that is each individual soul. Shouldn’t we be glad that God doesn’t do the same to us, what we do so casually to others? You know that prayer thing that I mentioned earlier? Try it. It know that it has helped me out tremendously.

Remember, that the painting that we need to see with the broad strokes should instead be the gift of each individual person, not the color of their skin, their ethnicity, or the church that they attend or whatever way that people like to judge others. Instead, we need to see if that person’s actions speak louder than the words that they say. In doing that, we can see the true measure of that person. I know that I would want them to see me in the exact same way.

What have I learned from this? When I learned to look deeper within a person and not so quickly judge, then I have found that it has allowed me to meet amazing people that I would not have otherwise met. It humbles me and makes me so very glad that we have a God who looks at what I have within my heart and does not judge me for how I act at times. I’m also so very glad that He continues to give me a chance to change my own behavior and to learn from each and every lesson that life likes to throw my way. Our God is truly an amazing God!!

So, what can you gain from this? The hardest step to take is that step towards the mirror. A mirror shows us all of our blemishes. It’s very hard to admit that our behavior is less than the perfection that we think that we have. It’s when we can admit to our own faults in making snappy judgements that we can start to see each other as the perfectly imperfect beings that we actually are. God doesn’t expect perfection, nor do I think that He wants it. I think, instead, that He just wants us to be open to all that He gives us and to love each other as He loves us. We can’t ask for anything better, to my way of thinking.

Seeking the EXTRA within the ordinary

Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels.com

It’s so hard to see something extraordinary when the world around you seems to be going to pot. The thing is, those events are out there, though. You just have to look and realize that in some of these stories is where God is.

Think about this……

These are some of the stories that you read or hear about: the waitress on her way home who saves a lady from a wrecked, burning car; the police officers who pool their money to buy a basketball goal for kids in Chicago because they are only playing with a crate; the teacher who shows students how to read and tells them that they can do anything that they put their minds to; the brave man or woman who goes into the water to rescue a drowning person; the random person who helps others out by sending donations to a worthy cause or the local food bank; the ones who rush in to rescue when others rush away. I can continue on and on with these types of stories, but they are too numerous to count. These are the stories that we sometimes gloss over yet this is where we can see God. It’s in the everyday. It’s in the ordinary that has now become the extraordinary.

The key is, is that we have to look for them. Sure, news stations will mention them but sometimes in a passing sort of way that makes us forget that in the midst of all the other news that we hear from that day, week, month or year. In seeking the extraordinary, we can find God there as well. We need that these days. We need that little bit of hope that helps us to continue on and to know that God is in our midst. He proves it through the actions of His people. When we also take the time to do the extra within the ordinary for others, then we too can see God which then gives us hope and an uplift in dealing with the day-to-day messiness of life.

What did I learn from this? We all are called to do the extraordinary, to think of others, first and ourselves, second. It’s not for our glory but for His glory. I’m very humbled by what I can do for Him. I can show my love for Him by sharing my love with others. He tasks me, and all of us, to bring others who are lost and angry and afraid to Him, so that they too can know the love of our beautiful God, who wants a relationship with us.

So, what can you gain from this? It’s not about being the hero, it’s just about doing what’s right for the right reason. You could be the person that that person was praying for. God calls us all to do His work on earth. You never know, years from now, the impact that you will have had on that person or the impact of what you gained in the doing of an extraordinary act. It can change you for the better and that is never a bad thing!

The lessons that I’ve learned during a global pandemic.

No one asked for this pandemic. We were innocent victims of something that we could not control and, I, for one, hope not to have to deal with again in this lifetime! However, there are some things that I did learn during this time. Here are some of those lessons……

Lesson 1: All of you are my neighbors. I love my family and my friends, but I also am tasked with loving others and treating them with respect. It has nothing to do with rather or not we agree politically or if we have different values or not. It especially has nothing to do with your race or your religion (or if you don’t have any). No, this has to do with who you are and who I am in God’s eyes. God tells us to treat others the way we want to be treated ourselves. Unfortunately, too many people have forgotten that very basic of courtesies. We don’t have to agree on everything and, in fact, we can agree to disagree, but we need to do it in a respectful manner. (Related post: Black and white and all the beautiful shades of gray in-between). So, yes, I will love you just like I love my family because that is what you are to me, even when we disagree.

Lesson 2: I value honesty and transparency! We need this in the leaders of our country and in the media as well. I might not like what that leader has to say but I like it when that leader attempts to do what is best for the people that they serve. When that leader, instead, fails to accept or even admit their own failings, then I am seeing that they are choosing not to be honest with us. Also, when the media becomes a mouthpiece for certain groups and chooses not to acknowledge a leaders failings then they are just as complicit as well. I’d rather them (the leaders and media) tell me what I need to hear versus what they think that I want to hear. If they don’t have the gumption to be honest, then they don’t deserve my trust! There are other leaders and media groups who have proven that they value us simple folks, so I will go there instead. (Related post: Our actions define the person that we are, not only our words.)

Lesson 3: I admire the human spirit. Life is tough. It can knock you down so many times that you may feel that you just want to give up. I admire the human spirit that allows us to continue to forge ahead in those tough times and then we know that we will become so much stronger because of it. We are resilient and although we may see this as a temporary setback, we may feel that better things are yet to come from it. The human race will prosper because that is how we are made. (Related post: Traversing the hills and valleys of life with grace)

Lesson 4: Our God has given me (and all of us) the tools that I need to persevere in this life. He gives me a heart that loves, a brain that thinks and ponders, hands that can help, arms that will hold, eyes that see, ears that hear and a mouth that speaks. I am tasked with using each of these tools wisely so that I may help and not hurt others. I must never take these tools for granted or allow them to become dull or to be taken over for evil purposes. I must practice what I preach. When I go before God at the end of my life, I want to be able to say, “God, look at what I have been able to do with the tools that you’ve given me!” I am forever humbled and grateful for these gifts and pledge to use them as wisely as I possibly can. (Related post: Why in the world should I be thankful?)

What did I learn from this? There is a purpose for my life. It’s not my purpose, it’s God’s purpose. I don’t always know where God will lead me but He just asks that I trust Him. He knows that I am stronger than I believe that I could ever could be all because of His love for me. The trials that I go through are meant to make me stronger and better. It also allows me to see Him in everything. I find my own joy in getting through all of the trials and tribulations that life has to offer with God ever present with me.

What can you gain from this? Think about the lessons that you may have learned since going through this pandemic. I will just bet that you will have things to add to the list above! But most of all, be grateful for the life that you have and make the very most of it in the time that you have here on earth. Life is too short to be wasted on anger or regrets. Just remember, you get out of life what you put into it. So make a conscious decision to be a better version of yourself!

Our actions define the person that we are, not only our words.

It is so hard when our words come back to haunt us. Too many people post things on a social media site that they might not have said in a face-to-face situation. Likewise, our actions also define the type of person that we are. When we talk down to someone based on their race, religion or even the fact that they are different in some way, then we risk alienating others. These words and actions can come back to us in ways, years later, that are harmful to ourselves and our family and in a way that we weren’t considering when we said those words or performed that action the first time around.

Our reputations are so fragile and so easily broken when we speak or act before we think. It is hard to project into the future how or even who our words and actions may impact, so we have to make sure that what we give of ourselves is the self that we want others to see and admire.

I’ve seen so many people who say one thing then act another way. The worst part is that they can’t or won’t see that about themselves. The most egregious of offenses are those committed by some politicians, actors/actresses, singers, athletic role models, etc. Why? They think that because they have wealth and power, that they can say whatever they want and there are no consequences. These people wonder why we call them hypocritical! If your intent is to accept all, then you should show love to all. Instead, we (those who call them out about their behavior) get called names and are bullied into backing down if we don’t agree with their point of view.

News flash! We all have an equal and just as vital point-of-view! Just because we have a freedom of opinion, doesn’t mean it needs to be posted on social media! I’ve always told my kids, “You can think it, just don’t say it. Be the bigger and better person than they are.” We need to stop and think or consider the possible consequences before the words come rolling out of our mouth, especially if it something that is meant to be demeaning to another person. Put yourself in that other person’s shoes. How would you feel if and when the shoe is on the other foot? Doesn’t feel so good, does it?

What did I learn from this? Am I perfect? Not by a long shot, but at least I recognize that imperfection within myself and I am always striving to learn and grow in order to be better. When I fail to see the truth within my own self, then I can’t be the better person that I am meant to be in the future.

What can you gain from this? Really, really think about what you say before you say it. It’s never easy to hear the truth about something that you need to change, but if many people are condemning you for your actions then that should be a clue that you overstepped. Remember that no one (NO ONE) admires a bully. Your goal should always be to be a person that someone can admire because of the qualities that you possess and not your status in life.

Finding joy in the midst of sorrow

Sorrow is a soul-sucking emotion that seems to take the joy out of life. It is so hard to overcome that sadness, especially when events of life seem to keep stacking upon you. So how can you find happiness in great times of sadness?

There is a song that I have heard several times called When We Fall Apart by Ryan Stevenson that I listen to on KLOVE, a Contemporary Christian radio, in which he explains how he was so saddened by the loss of his mother to cancer. In the song, he references that she told him that “the only way to heal a broken heart, is when we fall apart.” In other words, it is okay to cry. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to be mad about the situation that you are being faced with and choices that you didn’t want to have to make. No matter what, God knows what your tears are about. He knows that it’s part of the healing that needs to take place. You can’t change what has happened or even what you know will happen but you absolutely need to let yourself grieve about whatever it is happening in your life that is keeping you from being happy.

God never said that we wouldn’t have times of sorrow but that in time, the tears will be turned into laughter. Just like a wound that hurts and bleeds, then heals over time, so does your heart. In time, you begin to remember all of the beautiful things about that person or place that you were glad that you now have as memories. The sorrow may never completely go away, but as time goes on, the joy comes from having had that time in your life when you can look back. Those are the memories that come with finding joy in the midst of your sorrow.

What did I learn from this? Each hard thing that I went through, has made me a better person. It made me stronger. God doesn’t do this to punish us, however, I do think that it happens to shake us up and help us to realize that we need to turn our hearts and minds and hurts and joys over to a God who loves us completely. He desires for us to turn to Him all the time, not just in times of sorrow. I know that He’s with me all the way through the valleys and the hills that come with living. (related post: Traversing the hills and valleys of life with grace )

What can you gain from this? Everyone expresses sorrow differently. It’s okay. Never compare how you mourn against how someone else mourns. Your way is right for you. Remember, it’s okay to have all the feelings that you have. Express them in positive ways, like, for example: painting, going for long rides, going to visit a close friend, writing out your feelings…. The point is, is that you need to find a way that works for you and that helps you to find your joy in life again.

Seeds are a promise of progress

I was scrolling through Pinterest (don’t you just love Pinterest?) and I came across this saying that goes something like this, “Fruit does not grow from a tree that was planted on that same day.” (If anyone knows where this quote comes from, please let me know! I love to give credit where credit is due.).

In pondering over this quote, I started thinking about the meaning. Physically, we know that a seed holds the promise to become some sort of plant. We know that it takes time to really see the progress or growth of the plant. There are things going on underground before we even begin to see what happens as it comes out of the soil. Then, if you wait for the the fruit to grow, it seems to take that much longer! However, I think that this quote has much more meaning in a psychological way. Think about this, when we begin a new endeavor, we may not see all the things that are going on behind the scenes with it. Maybe, you’ve been pondering about starting a new job or you had some big change in your life and, now, you are having to make some big decisions. This change (or seed) is a promise of progress for you even when you can’t see it now. (Related post: Traversing the hills and valleys of life with grace )

This quote also got me thinking about my own feelings about my blog.

I am wanting my blog to attract people, and I have been getting frustrated recently because it is taking a while for it to happen. Then I read that quote and it made me realize that what I have are the seeds that God has given me that He wanted me to plant. These seeds take time to grow in order to become fruitful to the many people that I want to reach, so, therefore, I need to be patient. I am reminded that it is the promise of progress that makes me hopeful that the seeds will grow within people so that they are touched in some way by the words that I write. I must be consistently reminded that God has a purpose for this blog and I also have to realize that He is never wrong and He is always on time.

Also, realize that I am specifying that it is not my time, but His time!

Isn’t that the most difficult thing for us humans? We seem to hate the waiting that we are required to do. We are so determined to have something happen right now! When we don’t wait for the promise that He gives, then we tend to rush through life and we may miss the lessons that God is trying to teach us that will bring us more joy in life!

What did I learn from this? His time is not my time and I have a long way to go when it comes to my growth as His disciple. Luckily, we have a God who is extremely patient and is willing to wait on me to “catch up”! I have to be open to all of the ways that He guides me and sends His help to me so that I can get to the next step that He has planned for me. There are so many things going on “underground” that I am not aware of, but He always knows what will happen! I just have to trust enough to give it over to Him, willingly.

So, what can you gain from this? I know that the hardest thing for us humans to do is to let go of our control so that we can let God take the reins. Yes, He gave us free will, but I have found that what He really wants for us to say to Him is, “Not my will, but Yours be done” just like Jesus did on the cross. Finding joy is about trusting the path that God wants us to go. The first step is always the hardest, but the rewards are perfectly in-line with His purpose for your life!

Everyone has a bad day, now and then! So, what can you do to make it better?

Sometimes, those bad days just stay in your memory. Don’t you agree? I remember a day, when I backed my car out of my garage and because I was thinking of the three (very important) meetings that I had that day, instead of looking behind me, I ran my car into the back of my husband’s truck. He had a steel flatbed on the back, so it didn’t hurt HIS truck at all!! I got out and looked at my car and when I pulled back into the garage, I was VERY tempted to just close the garage door, call my school that I worked as a teacher at and tell them that I was sorry, but I was not going to make it in today.

It was a Monday. Go figure!!

I did end up going to school that day and, somehow, I mustered through the whole day. The fact that that was something that occurred 13 years ago and I still remember it, pretty vividly, tells you that bad days tend to stay in our memories. Also, the fact that I remembered the day of the week it happened on, tells you even more, as well! We have the hardest time letting those bad days go. They hang on, like a rotten odor that you can’t get rid of.

Why do you think that is? Why do we remember those days so vividly?

Surely, we know that we can’t change them. We can’t go back and do it over and hope for a different result. I think that the reason is because, maybe, it was a turning point in our life, so we just sucked it up and did what we had to do because that is the type of person that we had to be. Maybe, it was because………. (fill in the blank here). For whatever reason that you remembered it, know that you are not alone. We all have those days. I think it’s how you deal with them is what shows the type of person that you are.

If you take your bad day out on others then you might want to figure that you need some help. But, if it makes you stronger, more resilient, then you aren’t defined by your bad day. It was just that, a bad day, one that you don’t want to repeat, but, again, just a bad day.

I think that when we understand that it happens to all of us, then we can give others a bit of a break when they have their bad day as well. We may want to, instead, reach out and just let them know that it’s okay and they are stronger than they think. It’s nice to know that somebody understands and can empathize with us. That’s what we need more of, empathy. So, the next time that you want to jump down someone’s throat, don’t. Take a deep breath and try to understand their feelings instead. It’s not personal to you or even about you. You are just the person there. So, remember that sometimes, we just need someone to listen and not judge our feelings. Sometimes, we just need a friend.

What did I learn from this? It is so much easier to jump than to pause when we are responding to another person. I have found that it helps me to try to say a quick prayer for them and for myself as well. I pray that I can listen but then really hear what they may not be saying. I have to remember that it’s not about me. It’s about them and I may be able to help even if it’s just to listen.

So, what can you gain from this? Life is stressful enough! Don’t take on someone else’s problems, it’s not about you. You can, however, learn to be a friend. You never know when someone will help you as well, later on. You get back what you give out in life, so think carefully before you respond. Also, think, how would you feel in their shoes? Sometimes, just thinking about that is what can give us a different perspective.

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