A Joyful Mission

Accepting failure is actually the key to success

No one likes to think that by failing, we may turn out to be successful in our life pursuits. “How does that work?”, you may ask?

If you completely are believing in the goals that you have set for yourself and in what you want to accomplish, then you will find a way to succeed. All you have to do is look at anyone who created any new invention that we use now. I am very sure that they didn’t succeed on their first try. The key to their eventual success was that they had to fail over multiple times of trying. Then they kept working to make a change, maybe to some small component that they needed to change, in order to get the result that they eventually wanted.

However, they didn’t stop there. Those inventors continued to keep modifying those products in order to make their product even more of a success today. They learned and grew with each of the “failures” that they went through. Understand that the failures that they experienced never stopped them from trying in the first place.

Remember Thomas Edison’s quote: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” He stated this quote in response to people who asked about his quest for when he created the incandescent electric lightbulb.

For me, I want to say that I’m not planning on creating a thing or object, only this blog. This is my creation. It involves uniquely my thoughts, feelings and the growth that I’ve experienced along the way. But this is what God wanted me to do so that I could share them with you and, hopefully, help you as well. However, I can’t just write a post and think that I am done. I must continue to grow and learn on the variety of ways in order to make each post better. I also have to think of how to reach the largest audience that I can. It does help with word of mouth and if my posts have helped you, then please pass it on! However, no one would read my posts if I had many, many common grammatical errors and if it was not very understandable or readable. No one would take it seriously. So, I am vested in the growth of this blog because I believe in the message and how it can help you as much as it has helped me.

Now, ask yourself this question……

Do you feel successful in what you are doing right now? If the answer to that question is yes, then that is wonderful…. keep doing what you are doing! However, if the answer is no, then ask yourself another question. What is holding me back from reaching the goals that I want for myself? It’s hard, but be completely honest with yourself and what you want to accomplish in life. Sometimes we need to take that leap of faith and then we can come out with amazing results that we can be proud to share with others!

So, what did I learn from this? God believes so much in my capabilities, more so than I even do in myself! Yes, He loves me just the way I am, but He knows what’s in my deepest thoughts. He knows the thoughts and dreams that I may not truly realize that I really had wanted or even voiced aloud. He then gives me the opportunity to take that leap of faith. I can make a choice to sink or swim and I know that He will be there to bolster me up when I get frustrated and feel overwhelmed.

What can you learn from this? As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, change is not a bad thing! How many times have we heard of people who made a drastic life change or job change? The answer to that would be…..many, many times! It’s okay if people are scratching their heads, wondering about what you are doing. You owe it to yourself to be honest about what you want in life. If you aren’t happy, then look at the why. If it helps, go get counseling. Remember that in order to make it a positive change, talking to someone validates your wants and needs or helps you to see them in a new way.

Traversing the hills and valleys of life with grace

Photo by Quang Nguyen Vinh on Pexels.com

Sometimes, life is hard. I suppose that that is an understatement, to say the least. But then again, life can be easy, too, at times. Those are the hills and valleys of life that we travel. These ups and downs in life can become more meaningful to all of us who want to grow and become wiser. Yet, only if we learn to look at the hills and valleys as a way of learning life’s many lessons, especially if we learned how to handle them with grace.

I read somewhere that none of us are born with wisdom, but we develop it over time through our experiences. In other words, we learn along the way in our journey to our destination. (Related post: Which is the better choice, the destination or the journey? ) It is while we are traveling through those hills and valleys that we can begin to learn deep and wonderful lessons in grace. However, we can only learn from them, if we are willing to see them as lessons about life.

This is certainly a rhetorical question……

Have you ever been in one of your valley moments and you feel a lot of “poor me”, self-pity moments? Of course you have…..you’re human! Then you talk to someone who seems to be going through something much worse and you may immediately look at your situation and see that it wasn’t quite so bad as you thought? Yeah, me too.

Even when our situation is hard and we are in the valley, we need to remember that we will not stay that way before we start climbing up the hill. It is in those times that we need to give God the glory and thanks for his help. We can’t do it alone. We need our family, friends and, most of all, we need God in order to help us to climb that hill. It is in acknowledging Him that we can display the grace that God has given us. That is when we truly can start becoming the person that God knows that we can be.

So, what did I learn from this? I’m never alone in my valley or on the top of my hill, for that matter. I may not understand, yet, why I am going through this, but I know that all will be revealed as long as I am willing to grow in my struggles and be able to trust God on my journey. It’s not easy. God never said that it would be. I just have to be open to the message that He wants me to learn.

What can you gain from this? Reach out to others when you need help and also learn to recognize when others may need help but may be unsure of how to reach out. The give and take can be just as healing to your soul as it may be to theirs.

It’s not WHERE you worship, it’s THAT you worship. That is when you can help make a difference in the world.

I am the youngest of four children that my parents had. Each one of us has attended a different domination of Christian faith as we each started our own families. My point with that statement is that my mom and dad NEVER said that we must go to one particular church or attend only a certain denomination. They recognized that what we all needed, instead, was to have a Christian faith instead of focusing on where we worshipped. The location was secondary to the purpose of going to church.

So, what is the purpose of going to church? And, what should be the main purposes of going to church? The answer to that is simple….to learn about God, to give Him the glory and to grow in your faith! In doing all these things, you can begin to make a difference with others. Let me explain what I mean.

Too many of us look at all the other ways that people worship and judge them based on where they go. What we need to see, instead, is that the whole purpose of going to church is to learn about God. When we start looking at the whole and not just the pieces, then we can begin to see our own faith in a whole new light. When we also look at the pieces that others hold, then a true and more complete picture may emerge. When we open our hearts and minds to others, this is where we can start to make a difference in our world. We can make it better.

Remember that our God, is a just God. Our God, is a loving God. Our God…… is our amazingly, awesome God! He guides us, molds us and believes in us. All that He asks from us, is that we ask Him to come along with us on our journey of faith. And He loves us so much, that He sent His Son to take our sins from us and nailed Him to the cross. He took our sins in sacrifice so that we can be with Him when our time on earth is done. We are washed clean by His grace with the shedding of His blood.

So, our mom and dad had the perfect approach when it came to our faith. They trusted all of us to seek God first in our worship of Him, then find a denomination that we wanted to attend. Personally, I think that that is good parenting, right there!

So, what did I learn from this? My denomination helps me to see God more fully, but it doesn’t define the whole of the relationship that I have with Him. I am even more filled with the beautiful wonder of his grace and love when I open myself up to others who have done the same. Matthew 18:20, states that “Where two or three have gathered together in My name, there am I in the midst of them.” (ASV). It doesn’t mean, only if you belong to this denomination of faith or attend this particular church. Again, let’s restate… if you gather in His name…… that’s pretty strong stuff and so simplistic really!!

What can you gain from this? Get rid of the idea that the denomination that you go to is the only one that counts in getting to know God. We all have pieces of the puzzle. Now we just need to learn to open ourselves to others thoughts and ideas in order to help us to see where those pieces will fit so that we may, hopefully, begin to see the whole picture. I’m betting that it will be the prettiest picture that you’ve ever seen!

Will everyone with common sense, please stand up for the truth?!?

Don’t you just look at some people and say, “What planet are you from?!?” Don’t get me wrong at all, please. People are funny creatures, no doubt, and can be highly entertaining. My problem is with some people who neglect to use their common sense in dealing with everyday occurrences. What’s the saying that we use…..? “They can’t see the forest for the trees.”

Those are the people who seem to lack common sense, and they also seem to believe every lie that they are being fed. I feel that the problem comes about because it is so hard to stand up and admit some truths to ourselves. We don’t like to think that we are (or were) vulnerable. We are being led instead by our heart and don’t use our eyes to see the truth. (Related post: How do we know that the morality that we are looking at, may actually, instead, be a mirage? ). Sometimes, we don’t like to be wrong or deceived, but the harder task is admitting it to ourselves. We like to think that we are better than that or that we don’t make mistakes. Uh, so sorry, but NOT!!

We have got to start using our common sense especially in dealing with the world today. There is so much that bad people use on the internet, some media sites and in so many other ways to con us. So we have to learn how to decipher real information from fictitious information. We all should know and understand the difference between right and wrong. I’m sure that you know someone who continues to make bad mistakes, but never seems to learn the lessons that they are being taught. In order for us to learn from our mistakes and therefore develop common sense, we must first admit that we made a mistake and figure out the answer as to why it was a mistake in the first place. We must start the difficult task of being completely honest with ourselves.

Trying to erase the past by knocking down statues, destroying businesses, changing names on buildings and canceling out things that offend us, don’t help us to change our behavior. We need to remember those bad things that happened in the past, so that we don’t repeat them in the future. Remember, we cannot change others behavior, we can only change our own behavior in order to learn from our mistakes. How can we do that? Make a choice to take responsibility for the things that you’ve done, failed to do or neglected to do, etc. Then let it go. (Related post: My dad always said that “You can’t woulda, shoulda, coulda…..”). You can’t change what was. You need to see those past choices as opportunities to now go in a different direction by the lessons that you learned from the past.

See, you’re using common sense, already! Aren’t you so smart?

So, what did I learn from this? If you’ve read some of my previous posts, then you know that I am continually learning. And….. God willing, I will continue to learn until the day that I die. My husband, Barry, said something very smart to me early on in our marriage. He said, “I try to learn something from everything that I do.” I thought that that was a statement just filled with common sense.

I have also realized that some things that I learn will not be pleasant and some will be. But guess what, I have the opportunity to grow from each and every experience that I have. I consider that to be a blessing!

What can you gain from this? Knowledge is power, especially when it involves your growth as a person. It’s never easy to examine your mistakes and to admit your faults. Just know that you will be better off in the long run. Don’t let the past define who you are, at this moment. Let it, instead, be the turning point to a whole new beginning!

Why are we sometimes so resistant to change?

Change is the loss of original identity — Photo by Miriam Fischer on Pexels.com

In order to change something or make it different, you need to be willing for the change to happen. Ah…. but we are not always willing for that change to happen, are we? We are resistant because it means that we may need to see our life or path in a different way. This is true, especially, if it involves a loss of our original identity, like a change in our job or career or the sudden loss of a loved one.

So, in order to answer that question, we need to first understand the overall meaning of the word change. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, it is a “Verb.” that means to “alter, vary, modify, mean to make or become different. Change implies making either an essential difference often amounting to a loss of original identity or a substitution of one thing for another.”

I have found that sometimes we might not want to admit that we are wanting to do something different in the first place, then if we have dreams of what our new reality could be, we may become disillusioned because it might not have turned out the way that we thought that it would. Although, I am aware that since we can’t see the end result, it doesn’t mean that it will turn out bad, just different than how we envisioned it to be, which, may in turn, be a better thing altogether. Does that make sense? Let me give you a personal example of what happened to me.

I recently grew tired of being a teacher and wanted to do something else with my life. Don’t get me wrong, I sincerely loved my babies that I taught and the people that I worked closely with, but something had been brewing in the back of my mind for about 3 years that was pushing me to go in a different direction in my life. I actually had to take a leave of absence from my job in order to truly understand what I wanted to do. You see, I had thought that I was going to retire as a teacher. It was a stable job, but that is not what happened as I increasingly felt like I was losing the joyful person that I usually am.

When I did make the break from school, I had had these grand thoughts that I would be a consultant due to my educational experience, but I soon began to realize that God had a different plan for me all together. He wanted me to start a blog. I know, crazy, right?!? Yeah, that’s what I thought too. Frankly, since I have just begun this journey, I’m still not completely sure of the path that He is taking me on yet or where it will lead. That part of me that doesn’t like change (and likes security) is completely petrified! I know that God has a purpose, but He just hasn’t revealed that part of the plan to me yet, so I have to have faith and trust in the path that He has put me on. I have found that the answer to my new purpose, though, will come clear when I have given it over to Him even more fully, but not before or even during the journey.

Changing our path or going on a detour in life is difficult. I have found that it’s okay to question it and even be angry at God about it (even if you do become angry, at least you are talking to Him). I do know this…… He wants to be a part of the discovery and journey that we are on. So, the question that you need to ask yourself is….. do you trust Him enough to get you through? The biggest thing, though, is that when you do end up in a better place because of it (and you will!)…… be sure to say “Thank you!”. He would appreciate that.

So, what did I learn from this? I’ve learned (and am still learning) gratitude and watchfulness. I’m thankful that God thinks so much of me to give me the opportunity to do something that I would not have conceived on my own. I’m also watchful for the blessings that He has, does and will bestow on me because I answered the call, regardless of where it leads me. It will be to a better place. He does not ask me to do something so huge, just to leave me hanging.

What can you gain from this? Change is never easy, but know that you are not alone. So, in the midst of your detour, give thanks to a God who loves you. Give praise to a God who sees you through your struggles. And most of all? Worship a God who loves you and always wants what’s best for you.

Would any of us have been able to carry the cost of the cross, like Jesus did?

As Easter weekend fast approaches, I began thinking more deeply about what Jesus went through for us. He didn’t have to suffer, bleed and die on the cross for us. He chose to suffer, bleed and die on the cross for us. For every piercing, wound and cut that Jesus received, it should be a reminder to all of us, that He died so that we could live a life eternally with God in heaven upon our own death.

So, I think that we need to ask ourselves….. would we have been able to take his place? Also, more importantly, would we even be willing to take his place?

The most important thing that we need to remember about Jesus’ death and resurrection, was that He never would have asked us to do that at all. It simply wasn’t part of the cost. God sent his Son to show us His all encompassing love for us. What God wants in return, is our love and devotion to Him. He wants us to come to Him in our weakness, praise Him in our worship, honor Him in our redemptions, and talk to Him, anytime, in our prayers.

When we forget to let God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit be a part of our daily living, then we chance losing something very precious. We lose parts of what makes us human. And in today’s times and goings-on, we need all the help that we can get!

So, what did I learn from this? I know that I am not worthy of the sacrifice that He made for me, but I am supremely grateful and humbled by it. I look at the crucifix and the cross and I see it is a constant reminder of the path that He wants me to take. He wants me to think of others, before self. He simply wants me to do the very best that I can……. not perfectly, but freely.

What can you gain from this? When you find God, then you have a chance of finding joy in this crazy journey we call life. I consider that a win-win! Don’t you?

When hatred assails, God prevails

After the storm — Photo by Ray Bilcliff on Pexels.com

It is so hard to see God when all we see is hatred and when we also see the hateful things that some people are willing to do. When we are attacked (or assailed) then it feels like we are all alone. That is not true. At the point that we are at our lowest, then we tend to see the goodness of God through people because He prevails and always proves to be more powerful and victorious than the act that was committed. God can and will work through us but only if we open the door and let Him in. We are and can be the instrument that others need to see in order to help them understand God better and in a deeper manner.

I prefer peace, as do most of us. But we must always stand up against hatred. Hatred is the bully that tries to belittle us and tries to make us feel small. The person who says hateful things instead of listening to another point of view is a bully. We can’t pretty it up in order to save their feelings. If change is going to happen, then there must be honesty. When people begin to see the results of their actions, change can happen.

As a former teacher, we were always told that we need to stand up to bullies. However, we can’t just confine it to the school setting or to children. Bullying is a systemic problem that also occurs in the workplace, in politics, and in society in general. If our opinion is different than another person’s then that person will try to shame us so that we back away. We comply sometimes to the bullies demands because we find that it is so much harder to stand up and stand for what is right and just.

However……

When we stand up for what is right then we should see that this is God, who works through us and gives us the strength and the courage to do what we need to do. We begin to see the goodness of God through his sons and daughters and the acts that they perpetuate in His name. Is this going to be easy? No. Is it necessary? Yes. Changing the world starts with all of us. We are the conduit in which God works. He just wants to be given the chance to.

So what did I learn from this? I don’t have all the answers and I never will. It’s okay to admit it. I have found that with God as my guide, though, I am more powerful than I even imagined. Bullies hate that.

What can you gain from this? Know that you are not alone. Remember, Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

How do we determine if something should be of value in our lives?

It’s actually a shame that we need to get older in order to discover that something should have value in our life. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the number 4 definition for value is: “a principle or quality that is valuable or desirable”. Notice that part of the definition which says about having a principle that is desirable. When something is valuable to us then it is more meaningful to us. I have also noticed that what we determine as valuable in our lives can actually change and grow as we become older.

When we were young, our values were life skills that we would need for our future and are designated by our parents. It may involve numerous concepts, like: faith, marriage, child-rearing, family, work ethics, to name a few. As humans, we also know that some values that are shared aren’t healthy. We’ve seen, in our society, how some people have an unhealthy obsession with selfish ideals, and have no ability to compromise. (Related post: Black and white and all the beautiful shades of gray in-between

We’ve also seen how some people engage in human trafficking and sex trades of women and children. We’ve seen that some people will seek to destroy, abuse, steal or kill. These are not values that should have a place in our society. Unfortunately, we know that they do exist, because we hear stories and read articles about these acts. As a society, we should be and are appalled by these acts. Those that commit these types of acts should be held accountable. It has nothing to do with race, religion or creed. I am getting off topic, but my point is that wherever their is a wrong value to hold then their is also a right value to hold as well. It’s a balancing act, like yin and yang.

So, how do we determine that something should be of value in our lives? And how do we know that it is something that is good and will add meaning to our lives?

Think about it this way, instead…..

For something to have value, it is not just about what makes you happy, but also what could make others around you happy, as well. It seeks to do good and not do things that are harmful to others. For example, we can value kindness by being kind to a stranger in need. We can value money through charitable giving and/or doing an act of charity. We can value love in loving the person who is different from us in every way. We can value life through laughing at ourselves and seeing our own quirks and mistakes as learning curves. We can value others when we stand on principles that help and don’t hurt others. Remember, your life is what you make of it….. so, make it a good one!

What did I learn from this? You get out of life what you put into it. It’s certainly not easy. Nobody said that it would be. I know that my values are ever changing, as the world is ever changing. But, I also know that life is about choices. The choices that I make can either make me or break me. And guess what? I’m not broken yet!!

What can you gain from this? Take a look at your values and figure out what has meaning in your life. Don’t be afraid to tweak them when and where necessary. But, overall, know that if your values are good and this, in turn, makes you and others happy, then stand up for what is right, no matter what others say. You are stronger than you think! After all…. you are the one who has to live with yourself in the long run.

Staying positive, when it is SO easy to be negative

Life has been and always will be crazy! That being said, I think that we need to ask the question, how will we be able to stay positive in a world where everything (or everybody) seems so negative? The only way to answer that question is to say that, it is a mindset. If you start thinking in a more positive manner, then you can begin to function as a happier person. When you function as a happier person then you have the benefit of being a more joyful person in life.

So let’s think, instead, about it this way……

In order to be positive, you have to have something that you can focus on that is, in of itself, positive. If you are religious, then you focus your thoughts on the things of God. If you are not religious, then you can focus on other things that bring positive energies into your life, for example: a pet, your family, friends, exercise, sharing with a shut-in. Their is no limit into what you can view in a positive way. It just has to fit what is right for you!

You also might want to consider this as well….

I know that we like to stay informed via the news or social media, but you may need to make a conscious decision, sometimes, to limit how much time you spend watching or looking at these type of sites.

As hard as it is, we can’t control what other people do or say. We can only control ourselves and how we react to the things that they do or say. So….. learn to take a step back and take a deep breath. Change that channel. Think, before you make that comment on social media. You don’t want to have to look back years from now and regret the words that you said. And, all in all, if it helps to bring down your blood pressure, then that is a win!

So, what did I learn from this? I am in control of my responses. It is harder to be positive, so I have to work at it on a daily basis. Am I always successful? No. And that is okay. So, when I get to that point when I am not feeling positive, I turn to other sources that can help me get back to where I need to be. This includes praying, reading my bible, going for a drive, calling an understanding friend/family member to vent, listening to positive music just to name a few.

So, what can you gain from this? Give yourself a break. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Although, I know that is certainly easier said than done!

Above all, find something or someone that helps put you in that positive state of mind. You could even call it “your happy place”! And what can you get out of it….. a more positive attitude!!

Why is it SO difficult to have faith, when we are faced with SO many things to fear?

Have you ever tried to complete a connect-the-dots puzzle? On the more complicated ones, it is really hard to see the big picture when all you really see are just a whole lot of very tiny dots that you have to somehow connect to show a picture. There is a part of you that knows it will make a picture, however, it can be difficult to believe what the picture actually will look like. The question can come up that, what if I don’t like the picture after I’ve connected the dots?

I’ve begun to think that faith is like that, sometimes. I recently saw a quote from Martin Luther King, Jr about faith in which he states, “Faith is taking the first step even when you can’t see the whole staircase.” When you take something on faith, then you have to trust that there is a purpose in the path that you are taking. In Dr. King’s statement, you know that the staircase will lead you to a better, or different, place but you don’t quite know what that place will look like or even what you will see when you get there. That can lead us to the fear portion when it comes to having faith.

Fear can keep us from going up that staircase and possibly discovering something that could make a wonderful change within us. Fear keeps us from seeing the big picture and only lets us see each little dot. That is how it feels to me, as well! I had recently made a career change and it was huge. I am definitely someone who likes to see the whole picture and I really, really like to know where I am going. So, taking a leap of faith was a very scary thing for me, especially when I didn’t know where I was going to land! I’m sure that that is true for others as well. The only thing that has kept me going up those stairs, is my trust in God!

Why?

I don’t know what is up those stairs and I can’t see the whole picture……….. at least not yet. However, I have to have faith that I will know and I will see. It might not be right now, but someday, I know, that I will be able to look back and see that big picture in the future. That is what having faith is all about.

So, what did I learn from this? Having faith is and can be a constant battle. The devil wants us to fear. I know that God is THE LIGHT and aren’t we always going toward the light? The light allows us to see what’s around us. Finding joy is about having faith that things will turn out okay in the long run even when you can’t see where the stairs lead or see the whole picture.

What can you gain from this? Look back on your life and the things that you’ve done. I’ll just bet that you will begin to be able to start seeing the whole picture as well. Ask yourself this, was your journey based on your own accomplishments or was it based on your faith that helped you to accomplish something?

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