Will everyone with common sense, please stand up for the truth?!?

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Don’t you just look at some people and say, “What planet are you from?!?” Don’t get me wrong at all, please. People are funny creatures, no doubt, and can be highly entertaining. My problem is with some people who neglect to use their common sense in dealing with everyday occurrences. What’s the saying that we use…..? “They can’t see the forest for the trees.”

Those are the people who seem to lack common sense, and they also seem to believe every lie that they are being fed. I feel that the problem comes about because it is so hard to stand up and admit some truths to ourselves. We don’t like to think that we are (or were) vulnerable. We are being led instead by our heart and don’t use our eyes to see the truth. (Related post: How do we know that the morality that we are looking at, may actually, instead, be a mirage? ). Sometimes, we don’t like to be wrong or deceived, but the harder task is admitting it to ourselves. We like to think that we are better than that or that we don’t make mistakes. Uh, so sorry, but NOT!!

We have got to start using our common sense especially in dealing with the world today. There is so much that bad people use on the internet, some media sites and in so many other ways to con us. So we have to learn how to decipher real information from fictitious information. We all should know and understand the difference between right and wrong. I’m sure that you know someone who continues to make bad mistakes, but never seems to learn the lessons that they are being taught. In order for us to learn from our mistakes and therefore develop common sense, we must first admit that we made a mistake and figure out the answer as to why it was a mistake in the first place. We must start the difficult task of being completely honest with ourselves.

Trying to erase the past by knocking down statues, destroying businesses, changing names on buildings and canceling out things that offend us, don’t help us to change our behavior. We need to remember those bad things that happened in the past, so that we don’t repeat them in the future. Remember, we cannot change others behavior, we can only change our own behavior in order to learn from our mistakes. How can we do that? Make a choice to take responsibility for the things that you’ve done, failed to do or neglected to do, etc. Then let it go. (Related post: My dad always said that “You can’t woulda, shoulda, coulda…..”). You can’t change what was. You need to see those past choices as opportunities to now go in a different direction by the lessons that you learned from the past.

See, you’re using common sense, already! Aren’t you so smart?

So, what did I learn from this? If you’ve read some of my previous posts, then you know that I am continually learning. And….. God willing, I will continue to learn until the day that I die. My husband, Barry, said something very smart to me early on in our marriage. He said, “I try to learn something from everything that I do.” I thought that that was a statement just filled with common sense.

I have also realized that some things that I learn will not be pleasant and some will be. But guess what, I have the opportunity to grow from each and every experience that I have. I consider that to be a blessing!

What can you gain from this? Knowledge is power, especially when it involves your growth as a person. It’s never easy to examine your mistakes and to admit your faults. Just know that you will be better off in the long run. Don’t let the past define who you are, at this moment. Let it, instead, be the turning point to a whole new beginning!

Why are we sometimes so resistant to change?

Change is the loss of original identity
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In order to change something or make it different, you need to be willing for the change to happen. Ah…. but we are not always willing for that change to happen, are we? We are resistant because it means that we may need to see our life or path in a different way. This is true, especially, if it involves a loss of our original identity, like a change in our job or career or the sudden loss of a loved one.

So, in order to answer that question, we need to first understand the overall meaning of the word change. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, it is a “Verb.” that means to “alter, vary, modify, mean to make or become different. Change implies making either an essential difference often amounting to a loss of original identity or a substitution of one thing for another.”

I have found that sometimes we might not want to admit that we are wanting to do something different in the first place, then if we have dreams of what our new reality could be, we may become disillusioned because it might not have turned out the way that we thought that it would. Although, I am aware that since we can’t see the end result, it doesn’t mean that it will turn out bad, just different than how we envisioned it to be, which, may in turn, be a better thing altogether. Does that make sense? Let me give you a personal example of what happened to me.

I recently grew tired of being a teacher and wanted to do something else with my life. Don’t get me wrong, I sincerely loved my babies that I taught and the people that I worked closely with, but something had been brewing in the back of my mind for about 3 years that was pushing me to go in a different direction in my life. I actually had to take a leave of absence from my job in order to truly understand what I wanted to do. You see, I had thought that I was going to retire as a teacher. It was a stable job, but that is not what happened as I increasingly felt like I was losing the joyful person that I usually am.

When I did make the break from school, I had had these grand thoughts that I would be a consultant due to my educational experience, but I soon began to realize that God had a different plan for me all together. He wanted me to start a blog. I know, crazy, right?!? Yeah, that’s what I thought too. Frankly, since I have just begun this journey, I’m still not completely sure of the path that He is taking me on yet or where it will lead. That part of me that doesn’t like change (and likes security) is completely petrified! I know that God has a purpose, but He just hasn’t revealed that part of the plan to me yet, so I have to have faith and trust in the path that He has put me on. I have found that the answer to my new purpose, though, will come clear when I have given it over to Him even more fully, but not before or even during the journey.

Changing our path or going on a detour in life is difficult. I have found that it’s okay to question it and even be angry at God about it (even if you do become angry, at least you are talking to Him). I do know this…… He wants to be a part of the discovery and journey that we are on. So, the question that you need to ask yourself is….. do you trust Him enough to get you through? The biggest thing, though, is that when you do end up in a better place because of it (and you will!)…… be sure to say “Thank you!”. He would appreciate that.

So, what did I learn from this? I’ve learned (and am still learning) gratitude and watchfulness. I’m thankful that God thinks so much of me to give me the opportunity to do something that I would not have conceived on my own. I’m also watchful for the blessings that He has, does and will bestow on me because I answered the call, regardless of where it leads me. It will be to a better place. He does not ask me to do something so huge, just to leave me hanging.

What can you gain from this? Change is never easy, but know that you are not alone. So, in the midst of your detour, give thanks to a God who loves you. Give praise to a God who sees you through your struggles. And most of all? Worship a God who loves you and always wants what’s best for you.

Would any of us have been able to carry the cost of the cross, like Jesus did?

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As Easter weekend fast approaches, I began thinking more deeply about what Jesus went through for us. He didn’t have to suffer, bleed and die on the cross for us. He chose to suffer, bleed and die on the cross for us. For every piercing, wound and cut that Jesus received, it should be a reminder to all of us, that He died so that we could live a life eternally with God in heaven upon our own death.

So, I think that we need to ask ourselves….. would we have been able to take his place? Also, more importantly, would we even be willing to take his place?

The most important thing that we need to remember about Jesus’ death and resurrection, was that He never would have asked us to do that at all. It simply wasn’t part of the cost. God sent his Son to show us His all encompassing love for us. What God wants in return, is our love and devotion to Him. He wants us to come to Him in our weakness, praise Him in our worship, honor Him in our redemptions, and talk to Him, anytime, in our prayers.

When we forget to let God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit be a part of our daily living, then we chance losing something very precious. We lose parts of what makes us human. And in today’s times and goings-on, we need all the help that we can get!

So, what did I learn from this? I know that I am not worthy of the sacrifice that He made for me, but I am supremely grateful and humbled by it. I look at the crucifix and the cross and I see it is a constant reminder of the path that He wants me to take. He wants me to think of others, before self. He simply wants me to do the very best that I can……. not perfectly, but freely.

What can you gain from this? When you find God, then you have a chance of finding joy in this crazy journey we call life. I consider that a win-win! Don’t you?

When hatred assails, God prevails

After the storm
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It is so hard to see God when all we see is hatred and when we also see the hateful things that some people are willing to do. When we are attacked (or assailed) then it feels like we are all alone. That is not true. At the point that we are at our lowest, then we tend to see the goodness of God through people because He prevails and always proves to be more powerful and victorious than the act that was committed. God can and will work through us but only if we open the door and let Him in. We are and can be the instrument that others need to see in order to help them understand God better and in a deeper manner.

I prefer peace, as do most of us. But we must always stand up against hatred. Hatred is the bully that tries to belittle us and tries to make us feel small. The person who says hateful things instead of listening to another point of view is a bully. We can’t pretty it up in order to save their feelings. If change is going to happen, then there must be honesty. When people begin to see the results of their actions, change can happen.

As a former teacher, we were always told that we need to stand up to bullies. However, we can’t just confine it to the school setting or to children. Bullying is a systemic problem that also occurs in the workplace, in politics, and in society in general. If our opinion is different than another person’s then that person will try to shame us so that we back away. We comply sometimes to the bullies demands because we find that it is so much harder to stand up and stand for what is right and just.

However……

When we stand up for what is right then we should see that this is God, who works through us and gives us the strength and the courage to do what we need to do. We begin to see the goodness of God through his sons and daughters and the acts that they perpetuate in His name. Is this going to be easy? No. Is it necessary? Yes. Changing the world starts with all of us. We are the conduit in which God works. He just wants to be given the chance to.

So what did I learn from this? I don’t have all the answers and I never will. It’s okay to admit it. I have found that with God as my guide, though, I am more powerful than I even imagined. Bullies hate that.

What can you gain from this? Know that you are not alone. Remember, Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

How do we determine if something should be of value in our lives?

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It’s actually a shame that we need to get older in order to discover that something should have value in our life. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the number 4 definition for value is: “a principle or quality that is valuable or desirable”. Notice that part of the definition which says about having a principle that is desirable. When something is valuable to us then it is more meaningful to us. I have also noticed that what we determine as valuable in our lives can actually change and grow as we become older.

When we were young, our values were life skills that we would need for our future and are designated by our parents. It may involve numerous concepts, like: faith, marriage, child-rearing, family, work ethics, to name a few. As humans, we also know that some values that are shared aren’t healthy. We’ve seen, in our society, how some people have an unhealthy obsession with selfish ideals, and have no ability to compromise. (Related post: Black and white and all the beautiful shades of gray in-between

We’ve also seen how some people engage in human trafficking and sex trades of women and children. We’ve seen that some people will seek to destroy, abuse, steal or kill. These are not values that should have a place in our society. Unfortunately, we know that they do exist, because we hear stories and read articles about these acts. As a society, we should be and are appalled by these acts. Those that commit these types of acts should be held accountable. It has nothing to do with race, religion or creed. I am getting off topic, but my point is that wherever their is a wrong value to hold then their is also a right value to hold as well. It’s a balancing act, like yin and yang.

So, how do we determine that something should be of value in our lives? And how do we know that it is something that is good and will add meaning to our lives?

Think about it this way, instead…..

For something to have value, it is not just about what makes you happy, but also what could make others around you happy, as well. It seeks to do good and not do things that are harmful to others. For example, we can value kindness by being kind to a stranger in need. We can value money through charitable giving and/or doing an act of charity. We can value love in loving the person who is different from us in every way. We can value life through laughing at ourselves and seeing our own quirks and mistakes as learning curves. We can value others when we stand on principles that help and don’t hurt others. Remember, your life is what you make of it….. so, make it a good one!

What did I learn from this? You get out of life what you put into it. It’s certainly not easy. Nobody said that it would be. I know that my values are ever changing, as the world is ever changing. But, I also know that life is about choices. The choices that I make can either make me or break me. And guess what? I’m not broken yet!!

What can you gain from this? Take a look at your values and figure out what has meaning in your life. Don’t be afraid to tweak them when and where necessary. But, overall, know that if your values are good and this, in turn, makes you and others happy, then stand up for what is right, no matter what others say. You are stronger than you think! After all…. you are the one who has to live with yourself in the long run.

Staying positive, when it is SO easy to be negative

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Life has been and always will be crazy! That being said, I think that we need to ask the question, how will we be able to stay positive in a world where everything (or everybody) seems so negative? The only way to answer that question is to say that, it is a mindset. If you start thinking in a more positive manner, then you can begin to function as a happier person. When you function as a happier person then you have the benefit of being a more joyful person in life.

So let’s think, instead, about it this way……

In order to be positive, you have to have something that you can focus on that is, in of itself, positive. If you are religious, then you focus your thoughts on the things of God. If you are not religious, then you can focus on other things that bring positive energies into your life, for example: a pet, your family, friends, exercise, sharing with a shut-in. Their is no limit into what you can view in a positive way. It just has to fit what is right for you!

You also might want to consider this as well….

I know that we like to stay informed via the news or social media, but you may need to make a conscious decision, sometimes, to limit how much time you spend watching or looking at these type of sites.

As hard as it is, we can’t control what other people do or say. We can only control ourselves and how we react to the things that they do or say. So….. learn to take a step back and take a deep breath. Change that channel. Think, before you make that comment on social media. You don’t want to have to look back years from now and regret the words that you said. And, all in all, if it helps to bring down your blood pressure, then that is a win!

So, what did I learn from this? I am in control of my responses. It is harder to be positive, so I have to work at it on a daily basis. Am I always successful? No. And that is okay. So, when I get to that point when I am not feeling positive, I turn to other sources that can help me get back to where I need to be. This includes praying, reading my bible, going for a drive, calling an understanding friend/family member to vent, listening to positive music just to name a few.

So, what can you gain from this? Give yourself a break. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Although, I know that is certainly easier said than done!

Above all, find something or someone that helps put you in that positive state of mind. You could even call it “your happy place”! And what can you get out of it….. a more positive attitude!!

Why is it SO difficult to have faith, when we are faced with SO many things to fear?

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Have you ever tried to complete a connect-the-dots puzzle? On the more complicated ones, it is really hard to see the big picture when all you really see are just a whole lot of very tiny dots that you have to somehow connect to show a picture. There is a part of you that knows it will make a picture, however, it can be difficult to believe what the picture actually will look like. The question can come up that, what if I don’t like the picture after I’ve connected the dots?

I’ve begun to think that faith is like that, sometimes. I recently saw a quote from Martin Luther King, Jr about faith in which he states, “Faith is taking the first step even when you can’t see the whole staircase.” When you take something on faith, then you have to trust that there is a purpose in the path that you are taking. In Dr. King’s statement, you know that the staircase will lead you to a better, or different, place but you don’t quite know what that place will look like or even what you will see when you get there. That can lead us to the fear portion when it comes to having faith.

Fear can keep us from going up that staircase and possibly discovering something that could make a wonderful change within us. Fear keeps us from seeing the big picture and only lets us see each little dot. That is how it feels to me, as well! I had recently made a career change and it was huge. I am definitely someone who likes to see the whole picture and I really, really like to know where I am going. So, taking a leap of faith was a very scary thing for me, especially when I didn’t know where I was going to land! I’m sure that that is true for others as well. The only thing that has kept me going up those stairs, is my trust in God!

Why?

I don’t know what is up those stairs and I can’t see the whole picture……….. at least not yet. However, I have to have faith that I will know and I will see. It might not be right now, but someday, I know, that I will be able to look back and see that big picture in the future. That is what having faith is all about.

So, what did I learn from this? Having faith is and can be a constant battle. The devil wants us to fear. I know that God is THE LIGHT and aren’t we always going toward the light? The light allows us to see what’s around us. Finding joy is about having faith that things will turn out okay in the long run even when you can’t see where the stairs lead or see the whole picture.

What can you gain from this? Look back on your life and the things that you’ve done. I’ll just bet that you will begin to be able to start seeing the whole picture as well. Ask yourself this, was your journey based on your own accomplishments or was it based on your faith that helped you to accomplish something?

How do we know that the morality that we are looking at, may actually, instead, be a mirage?

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Have you ever seen a mirage? The most popular mirages that we hear about is what can happen in the desert. For example, the water that isn’t actually water at all in the distance is actually, a sea of sand. It is an optical illusion that is deceiving you into seeing something that isn’t there in the first place.

Can we ever apply this concept of a mirage to people when it comes to their morals?

Think of it this way….how many people have we seen who on the outside, look beautiful, seem to be amazing and appear to have it all together? And then we find ourselves comparing our own lives to their seemingly idealistic lives? After all, they are popular, and have wealth and fame. So, we should admire them and want to be like them, right? Not so fast……..

Actually, are these people really so perfect? Some are proving themselves to be not so perfect, after all.

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We have recently seen a lot of stories about these sort of people in the news. They write books, they get praised for (supposed) accomplishments, they hold offices, they run companies. You name it, we can list it here. Then, BAM! There is some negative press that comes out about things that were covered up and hidden because it didn’t meet the criteria of their status. It wasn’t to be disclosed because it would taint the image that they’ve cultivated for the world to see.

My son, Marc, coined this a “morality mirage”. (Smart kid!) Which I think is very apt!

So, what is a “morality mirage”? To me, it is simply that the morals that some people have on the inside, don’t match the morals that they “appear” to have or that they show to the world. They have morally corrupted themselves for the sake of wealth and power. Their greed has changed their soul and they should not be admired by us anymore. They are now tainted and damaged goods. Learn instead to observe a person’s actions. If their actions, don’t match their words, then it is a good bet that you are looking at someone who is showing a morality mirage.

So, what have I learned from this? These are not the sort of people that I can look up to and admire. I must, therefore, be choosy in whom I hold in high esteem. The people I admire most are the ones who “walk the walk and talk the talk”. I admire the ones who stand firm on the principles they hold while others in the world make fun of them. This is a good time to remind us of the moral of Noah. Remember what happened in that story?

What can you gain from this? Understand that what is inside also needs to be shown on the outside and vice versa. Hold those around you to a higher example, but most of all? Be that example! Humble yourself, admit your faults and ask for forgiveness for your sins, then do your best to follow His path. It’s not easy, because you will always have the temptations that want to take us down, but realize that the reward is amazing when you stay strong and true to yourself and the values that God knows we can have!

Why does greed keep us from God?

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In today’s world, it is very hard not to show greed sometimes. I’m just like everyone else and I can definitely say that money can be a security blanket! It sure is nice to have and it is certainly helpful in paying bills and, of course, buying things that are just not necessary. It’s hard when we see others gain so much in life and we continue to struggle just to buy something extra.

So, sometimes we have to ask ourselves, what’s the problem with having greed?

It’s when money becomes the only thing that we focus on or the only thing that we desire, that there is greed. When we covet physical things, then this can come to replace our need for God in our lives. However, it’s not just money that can make us greedy. There can be a greed for power and the corrupting of it. When power hurts others in our quest for more (be it fame or fortune), then that is greed.

The act of being greedy can lead into a breeding ground for dissatisfaction with what we already have and makes us begin to only look at and want what others have. This is where the adage “the grass is always greener” can come in.

Trust me, I have to fight that myself. Life can be overwhelming! I’m sure that most of you have the same problem that I do….. I see that others have something that I have only been able to dream about! It can make me angry because I want it too!! But then…I soon realize that that is greed as well. So, I have to step back and assess what I have now and appreciate the value of it.

I have come to realize that, things…… are just that, things. They will never replace the value that I have in my marriage or in my children. Greed can never take the place of family and friends and a job that fulfills me. I will always have to fight this urge to see what others have and want it for myself. That’s human nature, but what I don’t have to do is to give into it to the point that it takes my soul. I don’t want it to separate me from God and then risk having to live a life without him!

So what have I learned? Although, I like things, I love my God more. He gives me love back when a thing or object can’t. When I want to become greedy, then I get down on my knees and pray for God to guide me to a better path. Because I am human, it will be a constant battle…..that I intend to win.

What can you gain from this? Greed has a tendency to rob you of the best you that you can be. Humble yourself to ask for help. If you need someone to counsel you (therapist, preacher, priest, etc.), then don’t hesitate to seek help. It certainly doesn’t make you weaker. Realize that when you see a better way, then a better you will emerge!

How is having pride different from being proud?

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Why do you think that God considers pride to be a deadly sin? After all, having pride in something or being proud of someone or something on its surface is not necessarily a sin. You can have pride in your family heritage or maybe in getting a new job. You can be proud for accomplishing a difficult task well and in a timely manner or in being the first in your family to go to college. The examples are, literally, endless.

So….. what makes pride so deadly? Let’s look at the most basic of definitions, first, before we get into that.

According to Oxford Languages the definitions of pride and proud start out, mostly, the same. One definition that is the same for both is this: “feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction from one’s own achievements”. Oxford Languages also notes that the word pride can be used as a noun or a verb, while the word proud can only be used as an adjective.

Okay…. so why does God say that pride is a deadly sin?

Having pride gives the person a tendency to be arrogant and pride is known to be rooted in deep insecurity or fear. Pride is what may lead people to cause deaths through inaction, the loss of security for others or other more damaging actions to another person or people. Pride causes that person to not see the harm that they may cause, or for that matter, want to admit, either. Pride has a tendency to make a person look in the mirror and only see perfection but none of the flaws or blemishes that come with being human. Overall, having pride seeks ONLY the glory of people (or self) and NOT the glory of God.

On the other hand…..

A person who is proud (while you also have to be careful here as well) is more about having a positive feeling about or towards something. When a person feels proud, then they tend to acknowledge that they might have gained something because of the sacrifice of another person. A perfect example is a soldier who serves his/her country or a parent who chooses to stay home for their children instead of getting a paying job outside the home. There are numerous examples that can be listed here. Being proud acknowledges the path taken and/or given by others but mostly being proud seeks the glory of God FIRST by thanking Him for helping us through our trials then may give the glory to people who have helped us along the way.

Let me give you an example of the difference:

I have pride in having a blog and how it looks but I needed people who prayed to God on my behalf! God heard them and in answering those prayers, it makes me so proud to give God the glory for this blogs very conception. On my own, I would not have had a blog at all! God is the potter, I am the clay (or, think of it this way, He is the author and I am the writer). Each time that I write something, I ask that God gives me the words that He wants me to say. He is speaking to you, through me. That is some powerful stuff and humbling, too!

So, what did I learn from this? I have learned, and am still learning, to humble myself. We all have flaws!! However, if God can love me, sinner that I am, and ask something so huge, from me, then He sees so much more in me that I don’t always see in myself.

What can you gain from this? Think about the things that have happened in your life: good, bad and ugly. Acknowledge where you have taken a different path and think about God’s part in your life. Do you place God on the lower end and only ask for His help in times of need? Remember, He wants to be a part of your life. So don’t let pride keep you from opening that door. Be proud that He loves you, unconditionally!