My dad always said that “You can’t woulda, shoulda, coulda…..”

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I know, I said the same thing to my dad that you are probably thinking right now. “Huh? What are you talking about?” It actually happens that the words, “woulda, shoulda, coulda” is a phrase that is “an expression of dismissiveness or disappointment concerning a statement, question, explanation, course of action, or occurrence involving hypothetical possibilities, uncertain facts, or missed opportunities.” according to Wiktionary. We can actually sum it up into feeling regret about things that we can’t change.

Regret and sorrow can be very powerful emotions. The problem that happens is that if you are just focusing on the things that has happened in your life that you regret then you are forgetting about the things that you can change.

So I had to think about what my dad was talking about and actually I realized that what he meant was just the opposite of the meaning of woulda, shoulda, coulda. So, how did he do that? He added the word can’t. Which turns it around to a positive statement instead. Okay, so think about this statement that my youngest son said “You can remember the past, change the future and live in the present.” In other words, by remembering the past then you can change the future by learning from it as you live in the present.

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So, what did I learn? I learned that while I can regret the things that either I did or was done to me, I can’t let them define who I am now and who I want to be in the future. This gives me hope that I can grow and become a better person.

Now, what can you gain from this? Give yourself a break. We all make mistakes and that is part of what it means to be human. Forgive yourself for your mistakes but take the time to learn from them and then resolve to humble yourself so that you can be a better future self as well.

Which is the better choice, the destination or the journey?

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Okay, yes I know….. this is somewhat of a rhetorical question, don’t you think? Of course the destination is the better choice, then why else would we go, well, anywhere? I’m going to expand this thought in a minute….. but let’s think of this first.

The destination is important when you need to be somewhere at a certain time, say…. attending a meeting, having an appointment, going to work, being at a wedding, etc….. the list is as endless as you want it to be.

But….. how often do we take the time to enjoy the journey that we are on in the first place? The time that it takes to get there? The time spent talking to your significant other, your kids or your friends? Do you always go the same route or can you or will you go a more scenic route? Just food for thought. Now, I’m going to tell you why these questions came to me.

Recently, I have learned to absolutely adore Google Maps! At 50 years old, I can definitely say that I am behind the times when it comes to technology, but I sure am learning! I first started using Google Maps when my family and I had gone on a trip in the summer of 2019 to the Smokey Mountains. (Okay, no snide comments here… my smartphone continues to outrank me in the smarts department, but it sure is fun to learn!).

We were making good time to get to our cabin (we were about 1 hour away) and then BAM! there had been a huge pileup on the interstate and none of the cars in front of us were moving! So, that is when I noticed that I could use Google Maps to see if we could find a route (that at least was moving) in order to help us get where we wanted to be at a reasonable time. It ended up that we so enjoyed the journey because we were seeing a lot of gorgeous scenery that we would have missed being on the interstate. So, in this case, (and all throughout the trip) we continued to go different routes with the help of Google Maps. This made the trip so much more memorable than we could have ever begun to think was possible!

So what did I learn? We will always have inconveniences that will come up in life, so the question is how do you deal with them? I learned that it’s okay to not be able to complete something on my timetable all the time and then something more enjoyable and fun may possibly come out of it, especially, if I don’t try to always control the situation.

Now, what can you gain from this? Finding joy can be as simple as taking a ride in your car with no destination in mind, sitting outside in a rocker and drinking your coffee while you listen to the birds, reading a book, going fishing, etc…. the list is endless. Think about what your interests are and do that. Try at least to do something 2-3 times a week to start. It doesn’t have to take long or be complicated, and guess what…. it just needs to be something that gives you a little bit of joy in your day!

A Joyful Mission and a personal moment

My name is Jennifer Babin. I am 50 years old with a husband of 25 +years (he’s wonderfully supportive) and 2 beautifully grown children. Please don’t believe that my life is perfect, it’s not. It’s just the lens that I look through has changed as I’ve grown.

I have worked many jobs, but the latest one was as a Special Education Teacher for the past 15 years. I decided to resign in the middle of the school year, but I think that it was coming on for awhile. Maybe it is something about hitting middle age that had me looking at things in a different way or needing a change. Whatever…. it sure is a crazy change for me! But God knew that I needed something different, but it took me awhile to admit it.

You see, I have never written a blog before, but I wanted to engage with others in a way that hopefully can impact anyone who is looking for joy, especially in todays times of uncertainty. There are many things that I’ve learned that I wanted to share with others. You may find that some of my stories may be funny, some poignant, and all will be self-reflective. I hope that in my journey to find joy, you can find it as well. This past year has been hard on everyone, but guess what…. all of life is a journey and the mission of this blog is to help you to find your joy. So how do you find joy in the craziness that is life right now? It helps to have a sense of humor!

She is clothed with strength and dignity, she laughs at the days to come.

Proverbs 31:25 (New American Bible)